Please check my essay task 2. Thank you so much

Question

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Television has destroyed communication among friends and family.It is argued that the television industry launched undo effective communication with mates and members of the family. I totally disagree with this argument because it has a lot of flaws. Through television viewing, It’s a great opportunity for watcher effectively involved in the chit-chat with their friends. First, given a chance to discover and develop an interest in social media, the bond among friends are tightened throughout their conversation. Have similar movie characters, many of them would be effective communicators by sharing their opinion about film actors or script whether is tedious or not. Second, TV has an influence on providing the latest news that can help people who absorbed updated information discuss with their pals smoothly. These audiences are a strong position to argue about theme topic via news coverage or breaking news on TV programs and never feel left out when talking to a group of friends. The television consumption, moreover, connects the member of the family. Many people opt for arranging their work so that they can enjoy the TV program in prime time that is the best way for family gatherings and keep them entertained. For instance, comedy shows “ Thank god you are here”  create a happy atmosphere, they can unwind with their beloved ones on Saturday night. In addition, parents broaden their necessary skills in terms of parenting styles via up to minute news which would be a valuable lesson for their children in meal times. As a result, the communication between parents and children about various issues in television shows including sexual education, self-care for a far-away trip and the list goes on that leads to parents understand thoroughly their offsprings.In conclusion, I strongly suppose that television viewing has hugely positive impacts on flow communication in family life and group of friends.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

It is argued that the television industry launched undo effective communication with mates (This makes no sense at all.) and members of the family. I totally disagree with this statement ~~argument~~ (An argument is a proposition plus all the the points which support it. The topic is only a statement, a proposition. ) because it has a lot of flaws. ;(You can have flaws in an argument, for example, false premises, or logical fallacies. However, the only flaws in a single statement are errors of grammar.)

Model paragraph:

I completely disagree with the claim that television has interfered with or damaged family relationships by stifling communication. On the contrary, there are many ways in which television has actually improved or enhanced meaningful discussions between family and friends.

Through television viewing, It’s a great opportunity for watcher (wrong word) (missing verb) effectively involved in the chit-chat with their friends. First, given a chance to discover and develop an interest in social media, (Is there a program about social media on television? What is the name of this program?) the bond among friends are tightened throughout their conversation. Have similar movie characters, (ungrammatical, poor English) many of them would be effective communicators by sharing their opinion about film actors or scripts whether (missing subject) is tedious or not. Second, TV has an influence on (?? I don't understand. Aren't there news broadcasts on your local TV stations?) providing the latest news that can help people who absorbed (wrong word) updated information discuss with their pals (casual, informal. Not good for formal essays.) smoothly. These audiences are a strong position to argue about theme topic (wrong expression) via news coverage or breaking news on TV programs and never feel left out when talking to a group of friends.

The television consumption, (wrong word) moreover, connects the member (wrong form) of the family. Many people opt for arranging their work so that they can enjoy the TV program in prime time (period. End of sentence) that is the best way for family gatherings and keep (wrong form) them entertained. For instance, comedy shows “ Thank *** you are here” (Wrong capitalization) create a happy atmosphere, they (who?) can unwind with their beloved ones on Saturday night. In addition, parents can learn new ~~broaden their~~ ~~necessary~~ skills in terms of parenting styles via up to minute news which would be a valuable lesson for their children in (wrong word) meal times. As a result, the communication between parents and children about various issues in television shows including sexual education, self-care (wrong word) for a far-away trip and the list goes on that leads to parents understand (wrong form ) thoroughly their offsprings. (wrong word)

In conclusion, I strongly suppose that television viewing has ~~hugely~~ positive impacts on flow communication (wrong expression) in family life and in a group of friends.

Please check my essay task 2. Thank you so much

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