Please Check My Essay for TOEFL

0 Hello.00　I'm a Japanese man, and I am planning to study abroad. 00This is my first time to post my essay here. 02br
02br
00I would be most grateful if you could point out and correct errors of grammar, expression, logic, and so on, in my essay.02br
02br
00I wrote this essay for TOEFL, so please take it into account. 00 (At the last exam, I scored 18 out of 30 in the writing section.)02br
00----------------------------------------------02br
01b00"Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other peoplerefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? 02b02br
01b00Use pecific reasons and examples to support your answer."02b02br
02br
00When considering the place to eat food, some people like to eat out at restaurants,while others prefer to eat at home. I support the latter idea, for it is more economical. My answer is based on the following two points.02br
02br
00　Firstly, we can cut cost for diet by preparing by ourselves. In general, dishes at restaurant are more expensive than those cooked at home. Various costs such as maintenance cost and labor cost are required to serve dishes at restaurants, and these inevitable factors make the price higher. On the other hand, when preparing food at home, we can compare supermarkets to pursue and purchase more inexpensive materials such as vegetables and meat. Moreover, we don’t need to pay such maintenance cost and labor cost. Therefore, it is more economical to prepare and eat at home.02br
02br
00　Next, we can limit our expenditure for seeing a doctor. If we continue to eat out, the risk of diabetes or other diseases become higher, for foods served at restaurants tends to be contained with a lot of salt and fat. We feel delicious when we eat oily food. Restaurants try to serve delicious food. Then, it is unhealthy to eat out. Therefore, if we eat at home and keep ourselves healthy, we can keep down medical care cost. Furthermore, we can choose materials by our own, which enable us to choose safer ones. Thus, by preparing and eating at home, we can keep ourselves healthy, and can cut cost for medical care.02br
02br
00　In conclusion, if we prepare and eat food at home, it is more economical because we can make a selection of more reasonable foods, and we can keep down cost for seeing a doctor. In Japan, the number of children has decreased, and the number of elderly people has increased. It will be difficult to support the cost for medical by a small working population. Then, Japanese people should try to decrease the cost.02br
02br
00-------------------------------- 0-