Hi, I'm preparing for a toefl test in November. Could you please check my essay below and please tell me how much you'd rate my essay.
Any comments are highly appreciated.
You Have Received A Gift Of Money. The Money Is Enough To Buy Either A Piece Of Jewelry You Like Or Tickets To A Concert You Want To Attend. Which Would You Buy? Use Specific Reasons And Details To Support Your Answer.When we receive money as a gift, we can choose the way we spend the money with. When asked, some people spend the money with goods they like, while some may choose to spend with an event that will be their memories. If I had received the money, I would choose a piece of jewelry over a concert ticket for several reasons.
To begin with, a piece of jewelry has value in itself. Jewelry has been one of the most precious items for humanity for more than thousand years. It is valuable for most people. On the other hand, a concert ticket is alluring to only a small group of people. When I think about spending this money as an investment, jewelry is a logical choice as its value is likely to rise when the time passes, compared to a concert ticket, which its value will become zero after the event ends. To illustrate, if I have some kind of accident that money is needed, I can easily sell that piece of jewelry and get some money. However, if I bought a concert ticket, I can hardly sell that ticket after the date of the event. According to the above example, it is proved that jewelry worth more than a concert ticket, especially in long run.
In addition to its intrinsic value, a piece of jewelry can be used for a longer period of time than a concert ticket. I can wear that piece of jewelry until the end of my life. It can even be passed to my children after I die. However, a concert ticket let me enjoy only a several hours during the event. It may exists in my memory, but I’m sure I will finally forget it after time passes and new interesting events occur.
In conclusion, a piece of jewelry is an amazing choice to spend my money with. It is valuable to almost everyone and it is easily resellable. Moreover, I can enjoy that piece of jewelry for a long time compared to only a few hours of a concert. Based on the arguments above, I would surely buy a piece of jewelry over a concert ticket.