Please check my cover letter! Help me not to loose my golden chance!!!!

Question

0I got to know about this summer school very recently, and the deadline for the application is the 2nd of June, so I don't have a lot of time for writing a good cover letter... And I can't even say I'm experienced in it. I badly need someone's help!!!!02br02br02br02br00All the opinions are welcome!02br02br02br02br00Here is my first draft:02br02br02br02br02br02br00Dear Sir or Madam: 02br02br02br02br00I am writing to apply for the Summer Course 00 English and Diplomatic Discourse in XXX.02br02br02br02br00I graduated in Political Science in July 2004 from the Moscow State University of International Relations. Having completed my Bachelor’s degree programme and doing a Master’s degree programme in International Relations I am eager for a new experience of study with the Summer Course.02br02br02br02br00This course is of intense interest to me because I am confident that when I finish my studies I will have the skills, knowledge, and contacts that will enable me to pursue a career in the Russian Ministry of Foreign Affaires. To be successful in the chosen profession I must 01a00know all the ins and outs of02a00 diplomatic discourse and be fluent in English. Consequently, this course is the best I can ever find. 02br02br02br02br00I have a passion for studying English and am especially interested in further developing my language skills in areas connected with diplomacy and politics. I must say without false modesty that I am possessed of great ability in studying languages. When I laid down the aim to enter the Moscow State University of International Relations which is one of the top 5 universities in Russia, in less than two years from the zero level of English I came to the level that allowed me to pass a highly competitive exam with a mark sufficient to gain a scholarship for the whole period of studies. In the university I chose English as a first language (we have to choose at least two) which means that I had 10 academic hours of English a week, including both general English and political translation. Last summer I passed the State Exam in English (the last one before the graduation) with the highest mark possible. And I cannot even say it was extremely difficult as studing English is a great pleasure for me.02br02br02br02br00Finally, what else am I supposed to be equipped with besides the above mentioned? A good luck perhaps. 02br02br02br02br00Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response. 02br02br00Sincerely yours, 02br02br02br02br00Irina Eliseeva.0-

Feebs11 · Accepted Answer

0 01blockquote

01cite10Anonymous12cite10I got to know about this summer school very recently, and the deadline for the application is the 2nd of June, so I don't have a lot of time for writing a good cover letter... And I can't even say I'm experienced in it. I badly need someone's help!!!!12br
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10All the opinions are welcome!12br
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10Here is my first draft:12br
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10Dear Sir or Madam: 12br
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10I am writing to apply for the Summer Course 10 English and Diplomatic Discourse in ***.12br
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10I graduated in Political Science in July 2004 from the Moscow State University of International Relations. Having completed my Bachelor’s degree programme and doing 11font10["done"? - ie, have you completed your Master's? If not, then "programme, and I am now doing/following"] 12font10a Master’s degree programme in International Relations11b11font10,12font12b10 11font10so 12font10I am eager for a new experience of study with the Summer Course.12br
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10This course is of intense interest to me because I am confident that when I finish my studies I will have the skills, knowledge, and contacts that will enable me to pursue a career in the Russian Ministry of Foreign 11font10Affaires12font10. To be successful in 11font10my12font10 chosen profession11font11b10,12b12font10 I must 11a11span10know all the ins and outs of12span12a10 diplomatic discourse and be fluent in English. 11font10Consequently, this course is the best I 12font11font10can ever find12font10.[11font10Are you saying it is the best you have been able to find, the most apposite course you have found, or that it is the one that best fits into your educational plans? I think you need to be more specific.)12font12br
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10I have a passion for studying English and am especially interested in further developing my language skills in areas connected with diplomacy and politics. I must say without false modesty that I am possessed of great ability in studying languages. When I laid down the aim to enter the Moscow State University of International Relations11b11font10,12font12b10 which is one of the top 5 universities in Russia, in less than two years from 11font10a12font10 zero 11font10level 12font11font10[knowledge] 12font10of English I came to the level that allowed me to pass a highly competitive exam with a mark sufficient to gain a scholarship for the whole period of studies. In the university I chose English as a first language (we have to choose at least two) which means that I had 10 academic hours of English a week, including both general English and political translation. Last summer I passed the State Exam in English (the last one before the graduation) with the highest mark possible. And I cannot even say it was extremely difficult as studing English is a great pleasure for me.12br
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11font10Finally, what else am I supposed to be equipped with besides the above mentioned? A good luck perhaps.11font10{I am not sure this is a good idea! - Better to reiterate that you will value the chance of an interesting experience, and are ready to answer any questions they may have.}12font10 12font12br
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10Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response. 12br
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11font10Yours faithfully, 12font12br
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10Irina Eliseeva.12br
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10 0-

Anonymous · Answer

0 Hi I'm a native speaker of English, working as ateacher in Poland. I was born in Cambridge and lived there for 32 years. I have since moved to Poland. I just checked your covering letter and it seemed to be ok. I may suggest that there are a few problems with punctuation and also some mistakes with your sentence construction ie: "This course is the best I could ever find " does not make sense, it would be more appropriate to write This course is or was the best that I could find. I can Help you if you require some more help, but Iam a teacher and I cannot give alot of time.02br
00Adrian 0-

Feebs11 · Answer

0 01blockquote

01cite10Anonymous12cite10 Hi I'm a native speaker of English, working as ateacher in Poland. I was born in Cambridge and lived there for 32 years. I have since moved to Poland. I just checked your covering letter and it seemed to be ok. I may suggest that there are a few problems with punctuation and also some mistakes with your sentence construction ie: "This course is the best I could ever find " does not make sense, it would be more appropriate to write This course is or was the best that I could find. I can Help you if you require some more help, but Iam a teacher and I cannot give alot of time.12br
10Adrian 12br
12blockquote

10A bit late, I am afraid. The original post was nearly a year ago 050010id6

Anonymous · Answer

Hi Adrian

I am Polish and just found your reply on www.EnglishForward.com. I have been working at the moment as an EAL Teaching Assistant in Slough. My main advantage in the job is my Polish language and I do lot of translations and interpreting for students and parents. I am thinking about becoming a freelance translator (Polish-English, English-Polish). What should I do? Where could I go? Any ideas? I would appreciate your help.

How is life in Poland?

Regards

Ewa

Anonymous · Answer

Hi Adrian

I am Polish and just found your reply on www.EnglishForward.com. I have been working at the moment as an EAL Teaching Assistant in Slough. My main advantage in the job is my Polish language and I do lot of translations and interpreting for students and parents. I am thinking about becoming a freelance translator (Polish-English, English-Polish). What should I do? Where could I go? Any ideas? I would appreciate your help.

How is life in Poland?

Regards

Ewa

E mail was deleted.Please write it in your profile.

Please check my cover letter! Help me not to loose my golden chance!!!!

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