Please check my cover letter

Question

Please somebody proofread my cover letter.

Dear Sir/Madam:

Four reasons why I'm confident that I'm the candidate you are searching for regarding the Financial Advisor.

I’m perusing my bachelor degree of general studies, Business Corporate Studies major, in the . I am seeking a position that will allow me to grow, where I can apply my knowledge, experience, and education. My courses in economy, finance and accounting have given me a solid base upon which I plan to build my career.

During my work in the as a carpenter for MVO remodeling, I dealt with a variety of budgets and conducted market research while handling numerous direct duties as a carpenter. My duties are to find future project, make estimation, and speak with the company or owner who is hiring contractors. I always make them believe that our price and our service is the best in the market. That’s why the company has grown from 3 people last year to 15 people right now. I always speak with the employees about the raise and always handled the salary for every individual working for MVO remodeling. The experience allowed me to learn important skills and to develop the confidence needed to succeed in a competitive environment.

Currently, I am fluent in English and Russian. My computer skills include Microsoft Windows, MS Office, Excel, Access. I have good knowledge of technical analysis. I am an excellent problem solver with the patience to develop a solution to any problem. Furthermore, I enjoy new challenges as well as the opportunity to work as a team or independently.

In addition, I am extremely organized and able to prioritize multiple responsibilities. I am also a quick learner. I believe these qualities would make me an excellent candidate for Financial Adviser position.

Please find enclosed for your review, my resume in application for the fixed income sales and graduate training program.

BarbaraPA · Accepted Answer

Hello Mika,

Welcome to the forums.

Usually, a cover letter begins a little more gently. Something like: I'm writing to apply for the position of Financial Advisor that you have advertised for in the Grammar Times. I believe my experience and aptitude make me an excellent candidate for this position.

You are pursuing a degree, not perusing it. At least, I hope so.

Don't use abbreviations that are not commonly known. What is MVO?

You are a bit repetitive - see how often you use "carpenter" and "duties" in the first two lines? Also, your tenses are a little mixed up. These are duties you DID perform or ARE performing? Use "As a result" not "That's why."

I'm also a little confused because you start by saying it's a financial advisor position, and end with "fixed income and graduate training program."

I have enclosed my resume for your review. That's all you need to say for that one.

You should also have something like "Thank you for your consideration" as a closing.

Mika1984 · Answer

I'm writing to apply for business analyst position. I believe my experience and aptitude make me an excellent candidate for this position.

I have bachelor degree of General Studies, Business Corporate Studies major, in the . I am seeking a position that will allow me to grow, where I can apply my knowledge, experience, and education. My courses in economy, finance and accounting have given me a solid base upon which I plan to build my career.

During my work as a carpenter for MVO remodelling, I dealt with a variety of budgets and conducted market research while handling numerous direct duties. My duties were to find future project, make estimation, and speak with the company or owner who is hiring contractors. I always persuade them to believe that our price and our service is the best in the current market. As a result the company has grown from 3 people last year to 15 people right now, which is outstanding taking into consideration the subprime mortgage crisis that hit last year. I always spoke with the employees about the raise and always handled the salary for every individual working for MVO remodelling. The experience allowed me to learn important skills, such as ability to work in a high-stress, fast-paced environment, clear, concise and effective communication skills, and to develop the confidence needed to succeed in a competitive environment

Currently, I am fluent in English and Russian. My computer skills include Microsoft Windows, MS Office, Excel, Access. I am an excellent problem solver with the patience to develop a solution to any problem. Furthermore, I enjoy new challenges as well as the opportunity to work as a team or independently. To my opinion the person who is applying for the position should posses such skills as creativity in solving problems, enthusiasm, quick-thinking, intellectual curiosity, cooperative and focused on achieving group and client objectives, detail-oriented and quantitative, and I do have them.

In addition, I am extremely organized and able to prioritize multiple responsibilities. I am also a quick learner, honest, hard working, trustworthy, and dedicated. I believe these qualities would make me an excellent candidate for business analyst position.
If you have any questions, please call at

Please check my cover letter

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