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Bambang kurniawan Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please check my blog post

hello ia mwirting guide for dragon quest 9 in my blog, many say thaht my english is terrible but they never tell me what i am doing wrong there.
if anyone can check my game guide, i am really appreaciated. i really want to write better in english please tell me how should i write. Please if you found mistake in my blog post, please tell me and teach me what i should write to correct it. Thank you very much
please check one of my post here

(URL removed)

thank you very much.
  

Top answer

Hi Bambang: We can give you suggestions on text that you post here. We will make corrections here and then you can ask why we make certain changes. That will help you to improve your writing.

  • Hi Bambang: We can give you suggestions on text that you post here.
  • We will make corrections here and then you can ask why we make certain changes.
  • That will help you to improve your writing.
  • Post short articles - just one or two paragraphs at a time.
  • Make your text as perfect as you can.
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9 Answers
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Hi Bambang:

We can give you suggestions on text that you post here.
We will make corrections here and then you can ask why we make certain changes. That will help you to improve your writing. Post short articles - just one or two paragraphs at a time. Make your text as perfect as you can.

There is a shift key on your keyboard, and it is necessary to use this key to write go
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Thank you for your reply. Sorry for lazy habit press shift on my keyboard, I will change it from now. Now I realize how many mistakes I already commited.
my question:
1. why is "can" changed to would? ( I ask you if you were "able to". Able to =can, isn't it?)
2. why is "am" replaced with "would"?? I realized about past tense fault (appreciated) but can't i say " I am really appreciat
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Hi Bambang:

I changed can to would because can is asking about someone's ability to do something, not about their willingness to do it.

Would is used for a polite request.
Bambang kurniawanI am really appreciate it"
Appreciate is a verb, like go or run.
We don't write:
I am go.
I
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Here is some text from my blog post which I want to ask:
(if you read it you will find that I overuse "and then" phrase. Is there any phrase or word that I can use to correct this problem?, sorry for long text but i really need to know where my mistakes are)

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Go to blue tree near Alltrades Abbey and summon th
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Go to the blue tree near Alltrades Abbey and summon the train. You will see an event (?) on the train. Don't bother to fight the Boss, it is undefeatable. You will fall down to wormwood creek.
Here are few lists of things you can do in this town: (Usually list is singular: here is a list of...)

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After you have done all of those things,
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Event is kind of a movie, we call this event in video game, so what I mean when I write "see an event" is you will see a movie that has something important.

thank you for mentioning about list ( I thought if it is more than one i must use are).

From now, i won't mentioning "go" I always said go .. go ...

when is I must use "and then" or "and"?

why you change
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Bambang kurniawanEvent is kind of a movie, we call this event in video game, so what I mean when I write "see an event" is you will see a movie that has something important.
OK for event. I suppose it is a common term in video games.
Bambang kurniawanwhen is I must use "and then" or "and"?
When you want to indicate that a se
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Okay thank you very much, now i understand difference between "and then" and "and". Please check my new post (I already checked it 3 times and it seems it is perfect LOL. Please see):

When you return to the town, you will see a lot of army. Talk with one of them near the town entrance and then you will enter the battle. Go to the cave that leads to Magmaroo, you will see the old lady has
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Bambang;

A common error you make is to splice sentences together. Use the period and (not as often) the semicolon (;) to end a sentence. You also frequently omit articles (the, a, an). These are common mistakes, so don't worry too much about it. Just pay more careful attention to these.

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When you return to the town, you will see a lot of a

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