please, check if there is any mistake as the expression of English

Some people thinks that sucess depends on luck; actually, there may be someone who succeeds with luck. Where I live, jn Japan, gamble such as horse race is popular and people prefer to bet, depending on luck. However, I think say that luck is possible to depend only on gamble. Personally, I agree with the opinion that success depends on hard work.
My primary reason is that it is necessary to sustain in order to success. For example, Hard work usually involves effort to sustain. The correct of mistake would be vital in order to reach success in certain work after conduction of trial and error. Conversely, the abandonment after discovery of difficulty of thing would turn off success. Whether people can succsess depends on persistence. The same is true of concentration as for success. Facing difficult problems in certain work, people scarcely can continue their work without it. Concentration has the effect that makes people feel the things coped with interesting; conversely, people can be engaged in their work with interest because of concentration. That is, concentration is also the one of the important thing to success.
Another reason is that luck does not necessarily bring success in games. One example of this is that luck works in our passive situation by accident. No one can win in gamble; in other words, it is not possible to depend on luck in except for betting gamble, which there’s not any solution. I’m convinced that any problem has the systems to solve, and with enough edition, success is possible .Also, the more difficult problem is, the more difficult it is to succeed in game. In final game of sport, even if the team has strong luck, it cannot win the game with weak power; by contrast, if the team would have the enough power to win, there is the possibility that they win. Thus, possibility to win tough problem depends on edition enough,and people can increase possibility to win by training their ability. For the ability to exceed, hard work is vital.
My primary considerations with respect to wether people can win or not are wether they believe that hard work is the best way to win although as for gamble luck is the most dependable. Therefore, I definitely agree that hard work is vital for succcess, and luck is not related to it.