Please check for me this discursive essay !

0 Hi everybody ! Please correct for me this essay ! Does this essay use enough Academic words or formal words and how can I improve it ? 02br
00Topic: Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of studying English in an English-speaking country02br
00 Bilions of people around the world study English as their foreign language.Many of them attribute a fluent English learner to living in an English speaking country, whereas others believe that there are many obstacles when studying overseas. Therefore,this essay will discuss about the benefits and negatives of studying English in an English speaking country.02br
00 The first argument in favor of studying English in an English speaking country is that students can enhance all their English skills with the support of good facilities. Firstly, surrounding environment with full-time speaking English wherever students go may help them improve speaking and listening dramatically. Furthermore,they have enormous oppotunities to approach new culture and modern living style in most English speaking countries. Those lead to the deeper understanding in English and indirectly make students' reading and writing skills become better. In brief, English skills will rise up when students live in an English speaking country.02br
00 Although there are some advantages,studying English in an English speaking country still have some disadvantages.02br
00 The primary negative for studying English in an English speaking country is that there are various obstacles when living alone in the new country. Many students who have not left their home before feel shocked with the new culture and they usually find difficult to live independently because the lack of family support.In addition, most English speaking countries are developed. As a consequence, many students may encounter with the lure of the fashionable and luxurious society and they plunge themselves into that society without concious thinking.02br
00 Another disadvantage of studying English in an English speaking country is the financial problems. Living overseas for many years in order to studying maycost a large amount of money. For example, the aggregate of living cost and tuition fees for one year study in Australia may cost around 30,000 dollars. Moreover, the cost can increase each year as a result of inflation all over the world and that can be a burden for students' family finance.02br
00 In conclusion, this essay has identified both positive and negative aspects of studying English in an English speaking country. Despite the advantages to improve all English skills, it still have a pressure for students and their family. Consequently, students should think carefully about studying overseas to make sure that they can adapt easily to new environment.0-