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Zohal Posted 12 years ago
Grammar
please check following story.
please check and correct me as I want to use exclamation marks in this story.
The clock continued to chime as the stranger crept into the abandoned house. The sinister house was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core. The man shivered as he felt a presence that concerned him. The occurrence of the feeling made the man, draw closer to the exit. The man was alongside the miserable door, staring the crocked house right in-between the eyes, for the reason that he knew it was staring right back .the man turned around reaching out for the rickety handle but to his surprise he reached out hitting the wall, the door had vanished the house was holding him captured ! He tried to escape but his chances had all run out. He turned around and realised it’s here its time... and the suspense is back.
The clock continued to chime as the stranger crept into the abandoned house. The sinister house was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core. The man shivered as he felt a presence that concerned him. The occurrence of the feeling made the man, draw closer to the exit. The man was alongside the miserable door, staring the crocked house right in-between the eyes, for the reason that he knew it was staring right back .the man turned around reaching out for the rickety handle but to his surprise he reached out hitting the wall, the door had vanished the house was holding him captured ! He tried to escape but his chances had all run out. He turned around and realised it’s here its time... and the suspense is back.
Top answer
I am afraid I can't help you because I can't understand your story line. zohal The sinister house was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core. zohal The sinister house was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core.
- I am afraid I can't help you because I can't understand your story line.
- zohal The sinister house was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core.
- zohal The sinister house was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core.
- The man shivered as he felt a presence that concerned him.
- The occurrence of the feeling made the man, draw closer to the exit .
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7 Answers
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I am afraid I can't help you because I can't understand your story line.
zohalThe sinister house was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core.
zohalThe sinister house was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core. The man shivered as he felt a presence that concerned him. The occurrence of t
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Actually I am learning English and just trying...
My assignment was
Write the opening chapter to a story. You should include an element of suspense to engage the reader. Use exclamation marks when necessary. Your story could begin with the words:
The clock continued to chime as the stranger crept into the abandoned house.
I tri
My assignment was
Write the opening chapter to a story. You should include an element of suspense to engage the reader. Use exclamation marks when necessary. Your story could begin with the words:
The clock continued to chime as the stranger crept into the abandoned house.
I tri
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I am not exactly sure about your English level but from the words you used in the passage, it seemed to me that you are not a beginner. This is my observation. Suspense story is an extremely difficult assignment for learners with ESL background because the writer has to control the suspense level with descriptive words and various grammar structures. Your story line is supposed to be your thoughts
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I have attempted to make it a bit more sensible.
The clock continued to chime as the stranger crept into the abandoned house.
The sinister house seemed like a beast that was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core.
The man shivered as he felt a presence. It disconcerted him and caused him to draw closer to the exit.
The man reachedwas alon
The clock continued to chime as the stranger crept into the abandoned house.
The sinister house seemed like a beast that was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core.
The man shivered as he felt a presence. It disconcerted him and caused him to draw closer to the exit.
The man reached
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My story should begins with following line.
The clock continued to chime as the stranger crept into the abandoned house.
The clock continued to chime as the stranger crept into the abandoned house.
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zohalMy story should begin with following line.I did not change the opening sentence.
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I seem to be alone here, but I felt the passage was very well written for a suspense story. I have suggested, below, a few minor changes. Otherwise it's fine
The clock continued to chime as the stranger crept into the abandoned house. The sinister house was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core. The man shivered as he felt a presence that concerned
The clock continued to chime as the stranger crept into the abandoned house. The sinister house was glaring into the essence of the lonely man’s core. The man shivered as he felt a presence that concerned
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