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NGUYÊN PHẠM KHÔI Posted 6 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please check correct my writing task 2 essay. Thank you

My band goal is 6.0. Can you let me know which my essay score is?

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing.

Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

In this contemporary era, a wide range of people tend to undertake extreme physical activities such as hang-gliding, mountain climbing and bungee jumping. In my opinion, I believe that this is a good trend in the present era and I will clarify the reason why people risk their lives in these activities.

One of the chief reasons why a lot of individuals like participating in extreme activities is extreme activities help them relieve stress and pressure after working and studying hard. Joining these activities bring smiles to the faces of many people and make them feel delightful and cheerful. For example, according to the research in early 2019, it says that when individuals do extreme activities such as hang-gliding and mountain climbing, their bodies will secrete hormones like adrenaline and endorphin which create happiness and excitement. Consequently, doing these physical activities is a good idea to have pure relaxation after hardly doing our routines.

In addition, participating in extreme activities helps broaden people’s horizons. It helps them have new experiences and perspectives on the world in their lives. For instance, people feel bored when they do their mundane routines every day, so they want to join extreme and adventurous activities such as bungee jumping and conquering a summit of a mountain in order to see the world around them in different ways. During doing these activities, they will learn a brand-new lesson like patience that can apply to their lives and their jobs.

To sum up, although there are a lot of risks when joining extreme activities, they still beneficial for people to reduce their stress and widen their horizons about the world. Personally, I think that this is a good tendency in our society, however, people need to be careful when doing these activities because our lives are much more crucial than those adventurous physical activities.

  

Top answer

In this contemporary era, (That is a very unnatural phrase. ) A wide range of people are accepting the challenge of high-risk and tend t o undertake extreme physical activities such as hang-gliding, mountain climbing and bungee jumping. In my opinion, I believe that this is a good trend because it satisfies the sense of adventure in our human nature.

  • In this contemporary era, (That is a very unnatural phrase.
  • ) A wide range of people are accepting the challenge of high-risk and tend t o undertake extreme physical activities such as hang-gliding, mountain climbing and bungee jumping.
  • In my opinion, I believe that this is a good trend because it satisfies the sense of adventure in our human nature.
  • i n the present era and I will clarify the reason why people risk their lives in these activities.
  • " The reader wants to read your points.
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In this contemporary era, (That is a very unnatural phrase. Era is used mainly for geological ages, or distinctive periods in history.) A wide range of people are accepting the challenge of high-risk and tend to undertake extreme physical activities such as hang-gliding, mountain climbing and bu

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