Please Check Correct My Essay and give me a score

Please check my writing task 2 and give me a score. Thank you so much!

My writing task 2: An increasing number of people change their career and place ofresidence several times during their life time. Is this positive or negative development?

It is true that a number of people have decided to change their jobs or area they lived more than two times in their life. Although this decision has an negative impact, I believe that its benefits outweigh the disadvantages.

On the one hand, there are some disadvantages when residents make that decision. Firstly, people apply for another positions, which means they might work under higher pressure. Many challenges in the new workplace will make employees not perform well in their new roles. In some cases, they could face other colleagues who do not seem to be friendlly or meet with a horrible supervisor, that might make they regret having made their decision. Secondly, living in new location, people might face new neighbours who have dislikeable attitude or the undesired weather conditions.

On the other hand, new career and new place of residence bring more advantages in human life. Firstly, seeking a new job is a crucial factor to broaden people's professional knowledge. Employees will obtain a lot of real experience in may other positions, for instance when they work in business to business (B2B) companies, they can have more chances to work with corporate customers than other retail firms. Besides, trying new challenges in new office will inspire people to enhance the level of job performance so they can get easily rewarding perk. Secondly, a person who chooses to get a new job instead of working a long time in one firm is likely to progress rapidly in their career, when they become high achiever their salary also increases. Finally, becoming an official worker in several corporation is a big chance for people whose ambition is to communicate with lots of colleagues from different backgrounds and build more a stronger relationship which enables them to have the relevant experience.

In conclusion, although the number of individuals change their jobs and location is increasing which might have some bad effects, I believe this trend brings more advantages.