Please check and score my ielts writing task 2

Topic: More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items with famous brands. What are the reason? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

My task:

People who want to buy clothes,vehicles and other items with celebrated brands are becoming more and more. This essay will outline several reasons for this trend.

To begin with, that people want to buy things with famous brands is because they count on their quality. Nowadays, there are manifold brands but each brand has different quality. Obviously, poor brands do not have good quality. Many products are produced using chemicals, which can lead to lots of health problems. For example, people wear clothes with chemicals can have skin problems or seriously, they can get skin cancer. Second, people buy things with famous brands to show their superiority, their wealth, and their power. They always want to be more superior than their friends,their collegues.

From my point of view, buying clothes, cars, and other items with famous brands is a positive development in a sense. However, I am of the opinion that it is also a negative development. Some people who cannot afford to buy things with famous brands are ready to borrow money to buy them. They always try to keep up with the Joneses. They do not work and they are only interested in dressing up, going shopping with their friends to prove that they are posh. As a result, they do not have time for family and young people ignore their study.

In a sum, people should buy clothes, vehicles and other items rationally and people with low salary should not live beyond theor means