Please check and give me my Writing IELTS Task 1 :)))

I need someone who can fix me mistakes in my essay, so if i have any mistakes, please forgive me and it would be nice if you can also give me a band score

Essay topics: The line graph shows the income of four cafes in New York over last year.

The line graph compares the revenue of four cafes in New York in the previous year.

Overall, the figures for the amount of money that the New York cafes earned last year all increased except for the Tea Room.

According to the graph, from January to November, there was a fluctuation in the income of the Cafe Cool from roughly 30,000 dollars to 60,000 dollars, then rocketed to 120,000 dollars in the end of the year. Beginning at a higher point at 50,000 dollars, the figure for the Wi-fi Cafe saw a slight rise and doubled in August. However, it dropped significantly to 60,000 dollars in September, but again went up sharply and hit a peak at about 190,000 dollars in December.

On the other hand, the quantity of the Interner Express experienced a gradual fall in the first half of the year, then followed by a moderate growth to 140,000 dollars in December. Meanwhile, there was a wide fluctuation in the income of the Tea Room from 160,000 dollars in January to 140,000 dollars in October before plummeting to around 50,000 dollars in the final month.