Please check and correct my essay- Thank You - writing task 2

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have
had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.
To what extent do you agree?

In recent decades, The internet has been gainning a lot of large achievements making the development of social networking sites quicker than one can expect. Although these sites are vitally important to create more value to the society, they also bring a myriad of detrimental consequences for society and individuals.

These apps bring a great number of environments of good quality for people to communicate, but they also cause many harmful things to them. Firstly, the existence of networks on the internet allows people to complete their work and communicate with other people without going out, which makes them less active and has harmful effects on their health. For example, if an officer does his works at home, the distance between home and office will decrease to zero limiting actions and leading to the obesity, which affect badly to his health in long term. Secondly, there are sufficient evidences to infer that the more people work online, the more feeling lonely they get, which poses many new psychological problems. people can have several thousands of friends on facebook but when it comes to real talking, feeling lonely appears immidiately and affects their mind because they can not find one to express their thoughts, whom fully comprehends them.

Online social networks influence not only individuals but also the whole society. Due to increasing in the number of internet citizens, the online criminals and victims also have been quickly escalating (as a result), which raised a lot of social problems. For instance, through many poison codes on the internet people can be stealed their credit numbers, passwords or even some extremely important informations, requiring many actions of government to protect. In additions, Since the number of alternative media rapidly increase, people can approach harmful information that will be manipulative them, which will influence the national security. A myriad of online information being fraught with pitfalls, is created to control the society’s sentiments and serve wrong purposes like fighting against the government making many tragic consequences to the society.

Couple with many high benefits, social networks also have a lot to do with detrimetal influences and problems that can not be taken lightly. Every one should notice these limitaions to utilize the functions of social networking sites.