Please assess my writing IELTS task 2. Thank you.

Topic: Countries where there is high unemployment most pupils should be offered only primary education, there is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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As unemployment rate is increasing in some countries, some have argued that secondary education is now unnecessary, and children’s education should not be provided beyond primary level. While the opinion appears logical, I believe that this is a very narrowed perspective and I strongly disagree with this statement.

Firstly, formal education is a key element to create informed and responsible citizens. It should be noticed that the aims of education are to acquire knowledge and develop a critical mind. Primary education plays an important role in a child’s intellectual development while secondary level provides a wealth of practical knowledge which helps to prepare young people for the world of work. As the tremendous growth of technology, education programs help young generation keep up with the development of machines to enhance employment opportunities as well as job securities.

Secondly, the job market is unpredictable. No one can certainly say that the unemployment status will prolong in the future. In the era of great economic growth, outsourcing becomes popular strategy in many global companies. Besides, a lot of international corporations are now investing in other countries to expand their market which also creates more jobs for local residents. For example, Apple had their assembling factories in China which provided jobs for many local people who were struggling to find a job in a densely populated country. These jobs do not require complicated skills but basic understandings about frame and structure of assembly pieces.

In conclusion, it is necessary to offer children education at least to secondary level because education is essential to create a more educated future generation of people as well as provide practical knowledge for people before the changes of the economy.