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Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please all comments on title and thesis are welcome

PROJECT TITLE:
AN ENVIRONMENTAL MANAGEMENT PLAN FOR THE LOWER LIESBEEK (LL)

THESIS:
IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE A SUSTAINABLY WORKING PARK THERE IS A NEED TO STRATEGICALLY MANAGE THE TWO RIVERS URBAN PARK (TRUP) IN A HOLISTIC AND INTEGRATED MANNER, WHILST MAINTAINING THE BROADER FRAMEWORKS OUTLINED IN THE SPATIAL DEVELOPMENT FRAMEWORK & PHASE ONE ENVIRONMENTAL MANAGEMENT PLAN (SDF &EMP1). TO ACHIEVE THIS GOAL, THIS STUDY SUGGESTS THAT TRUP BE MANAGED IN DIVISIONS AND MANAGEMENT PLANS BE DRAWN UP FOR EACH SECTIONAL DIVISION. HOWEVER, THIS STUDY ONLY FOCUSSES ON THE MANAGEMENT OF THE LL AS A DIVISION IN THE TRUP.
  

Top answer

Anon, first of all, please never post in all capital letters. It's hard to read and feels like you're shouting at us. Secondly, I hope this doesn't sound "mean," but you are heavy with buzzwords, to the point where it almost reads like a joke.

  • Anon, first of all, please never post in all capital letters.
  • It's hard to read and feels like you're shouting at us.
  • Secondly, I hope this doesn't sound "mean," but you are heavy with buzzwords, to the point where it almost reads like a joke.
  • Don't use an abbreviation in your title.
  • Wait until you are in the body to do that.
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10 Answers
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Anon, first of all, please never post in all capital letters. It's hard to read and feels like you're shouting at us.

Secondly, I hope this doesn't sound "mean," but you are heavy with buzzwords, to the point where it almost reads like a joke.

Don't use an abbreviation in your title. Wait until you are in the body to do that.

However, there are two big problems.
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I'm sorry about the capital letters and thak you for the advice.

You're right about everything. My aim is to produce an EMP for just the LL which is within the TRUP. There is currently a broad EMP for TRUP but it has not been successful, so now I'm proposing that the park be managed in smaller parts whose management strategies should be linked to the bigger plan so that the park can becom
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Just write it more simply.

Start by giving the background. Just like you did here - Define the TRUP (without the abbreviation first, just as you did in the original.) State that is has a broad EMP (also spelled out). Do you know why the EMP for TRUP has failed? State that you suggest the TRUP be divided into smaller areas, and that each will be managed to the same goals and guidelines of
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The main reason why TRUP's EMP has not been a success is because of the lack of sufficient funds to manage the area (Study area is/should be managed by government but often urban river systems are neglected/not prioritized financially). Also with the few resources available, there seem to be too much fragmentation within government as well as a lack of cohesive relationships with stakeholders. So
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I think it's fine to say that the entire policy hasn't been effectively implemented because of a lack of reliable funding, but make sure it doesn't come across as though the overriding policy wasn't sound. I think it's also okay to identify a holistic approach as the ideal, but funding contraints and lack of both paid and volunteer resources make it diffiicult, but there are enough identified reso
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Hi GG,

I'm not quite sure I understand what a pilot test is...sorry. Could you pls elaborate? Would I need to write the section after the introduction or as a subsection of the intro? and what could I name the section?
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A pilot is when you test a theory or technique to see how it goes. If it goes well, it becomes the model that others use.

Why don't you go back and write it fresh, rather than my trying to say what would work. Are you trying to submit this for funding or what?
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No dear. This is for my honors dissertation. I've sort of written-up stuff but they're not working for my supervisor so now I'm trying to understand how I could reconstruct the thesis to produce a more clearer and rigorous paper. All this writing like this is new to me and I don't know how others have managed. Its such a challenge with me!

Nonetheless, I appreciate your kind assisstance v
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Hi again,

My free editing is done in this forum, I'm afraid. If you have brief excerpts, you can post them here.

Is your degree in environmental science, or something like that? Why don't you google around and see what other environmental plans have been published, either by water quality boards or foundations that are looking for grant money. You might find some models to help y
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After my thesis readjustment I have now begun to write my 1st chapter. given my title and thesis is this a good academic beginning?



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