Please advise on my personal statement

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01font00My name is Patrick. I am applying to a Master's degree in Physics and I need to write a personal statement. Very exactly the application form asks for "Personal statement (your motivation for applying)" without any further indication on the length required or if it should be a letter.02font02br
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01font00I had a look at several posts here and that already helped me a lot! Indeed at the beginning my letter was only 15 lines and that really seems not to be enough!02font02br
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01font00Please could someone review the following draft to tell me if it is too short, if it is clear or enthusiastic enough?02br
00Does it look like what a personal statement should?02font02br
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01font00I have to post it (by mail) before April 10th, sorry for the short notice 05002br
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01font00Thank you very much in advance for any comment!02font02br
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01font00Patrick02font02br
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00Dear Sir or Madam, 02br
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00I am a French engineer applying for a Master’s Program in Physics in your university. 02br
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00After completing the master’s degree I aim at obtaining a PhD focusing on nanotechnologies and more particularly on nano-devices. I hope by this way to be able to integrate a research team and work in this promising domain. 02br
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00I have a French engineering degree in Electronics since September 2004 from *** with an emphasis on signal processing for radar systems and propagation issues. In parallel and through the Erasmus exchange program I spent one and a half year in YYY in 010200. I obtained there a master’s degree in Mobile Communications in July 2004 in which I went deeper into radio systems behaviour and how to exploit at best the radio channel capacity.02br
00I really liked working on advanced technologies but I wanted to get some experience in a company before applying for a PhD.02br
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00I have now been working for two years as a Telecom instructor for WWW in 010200. My tasks include self learning, writing courses and giving lectures to WWW staff and clients mainly over 00. This position allowed me to visualize a complete mobile network from the development to the maintenance procedures and to develop the pedagogic skills required to share my knowledge and experience.02br
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00Through a project done in my engineering school I got the chance to discover nanotechnologies and their promising applications in all the domains. From that time I read a lot about nanotechnologies discovery and particularly to the expectations related to nano-robots. An old dream would be to enter a research team working on nano-robots and I would be really interested in the communications between the robots at this scale. A good way to work on nano-devices with my background is certainly to get a relevant training on fundamental physics. 02br
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00Moreover my girlfriend and I are particularly attracted to 010200 because of its culture and way of life. She is working in the oil and gas industry and should be able to find a position in 010200. It would be marvelous if we could both complete our professional and personal wishes.02br
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00With its increasingly support to research activities about ICT, biotechnology and nanotechnology, 010200 reveals a dynamic research community which have also a great appeal for me.02br
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00I am confident that the master’s program in physics will give me a solid foundation to further pursue with a PhD.02br
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00Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response. 02br
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00Yours sincerely,02br
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00 Patrick02br
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