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Linh Nguyen 7850 Posted 9 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please advise me on Ielts Writing Task 2. Thanks in advance

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that videos games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

People have different views about how video games influences people playing them. While there are some good arguments in favor of the beneficial affects of playing games, I still believe that this could be a disaster if people, especially young generation, are always engrossed in games.

On the one hand, it is undeniable the benefits of playing games. First, video games are being considered as the primary recreation for people because of the creative and entertaining of diverse kinds of games. Second, people can exert themselves while playing games. For example, by playing games, people can improve their ability of concentration or exercise the memory. Final, it is noticeable that playing games is one of the unconscious ways to learn languages. One clear example would be my cousin, whose listening skill has been being improved significantly due to listening to the instruction of video games.

On the other hand, it is detrimental to people if they are addicted to playing games. Gaming can be the most time – consuming pastime, and money – wasting as well. For instance, sometimes, you might be required to pay money in order to gain more experience or to upgrade your level. Moreover, playing games can result in so many horrible consequences that we cannot expect. Many children spend abundant hours on playing games, therefore, the lack of time to finish homework or improve their sleep seems to be inevitable. As a result, they could play truant or steal money from their parents to satisfy their instant desire. Eventually, the lack of education from school and family can lead those adolescents the way to be juvenile criminals.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the potential dangers of playing video games are more considerable than the benefits that they bring.

  

Top answer

In my opinion, your essay is very good. However it made some mistakes about conjunction such as" first", "second" and "final". You should correct them" firstly" secondly

  • In my opinion, your essay is very good.
  • However it made some mistakes about conjunction such as" first", "second" and "final".
  • You should correct them" firstly" secondly
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2 Answers
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In my opinion, your essay is very good. However it made some mistakes about conjunction such as" first", "second" and "final". You should correct them" firstly" secondly
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People have different views about how video games influence people those playing them. While there are some good arguments in favor of the beneficial affects of playing such games, I still believe that this could

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