Pleas check my essay. Thank you so much.

Nowadays, most of children take part in many planned activities, like music lessons and sport clubs. Explain advantages and disadvantages of these activities and give your own opinion.

My essay:

Nowadays, some parents believe that one of the ways to succeed in their children is taking part in planned activities. Children, follow their parent’s advice, intentionally or unintentionally. In the following text, I will outline several advantages and disadvantages of these activities.

Childhood is an important period for children’s brain development. They need to be relaxed, have leisure time and play with their peers and so on. If always they do extra-curricular activities and run from activity to activity, they get tired and their brain play havoc their life. They will be sleepy and stressful. This threat their health. In addition, taking part in activities daily, kills their leisure time. Also, it may reduce their interesting in activities which they did before passionately.

On the other hand, parents cannot separate their children from the society. Children live in this community and need to learn social skills and have social relationships. If a child is shy, this means she/he does not interact with others. She/he has to make friends. So, parents can accelerate these abilities by enrolling their children in planned activities. Another benefit of these activities is ability to work as a team member. It is important to make them feel like they are capable doing something. Also, children learn to be patient and these activities prohibit them to be selfish. They can make self-discoveries and get to know their likes and dislikes. What is more, it is the best way to keep them under supervision for parents who work and are not at home. They can kill two birds with one stone, indirect care of children and doing productive activities by children.

To sum up, if these activities be limited, they can play a significant role in children growth and their future.