Placement of 'outside'
Here's a part of a script I'm writing on:
Dan's house.
The TV is on, but no Dan. The door out to the backyard is open, the curtains fluttering faintly. And outside Dan sits at the patio table with a beer.
My question is about the last sentence. Is it OK with 'outside' placed before the rest of the sentence or is it awkward? Thanks.
Top answer
anonymous Is it OK with 'outside' placed before the rest of the sentence or is it awkward? " Without the comma, the reader sees "Outside Dan" and thinks it's like "Downtown Julie Brown" for an instant, which is too long.
- anonymous Is it OK with 'outside' placed before the rest of the sentence or is it awkward?
- " Without the comma, the reader sees "Outside Dan" and thinks it's like "Downtown Julie Brown" for an instant, which is too long.
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anonymousIs it OK with 'outside' placed before the rest of the sentence or is it awkward?
It is awkward without the comma we use for sentence adverbs, and I would lose the "and": "Outside, Dan sits at the patio table with a beer." Without the comma, the reader sees "Outside Dan" and thinks it's like "Downtown Julie Brown" for an instant, which is too long.
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