Persuasive Essay Introduction?

I am writing a persuasive essay on the following topic: Should wealthy nations share their wealth with the undeveloped world?
Is my introduction too long? Please correct it for style,grammar, punctuation etc. Thanks.. and please reply on whether you think it is too length for an introduction..



The entire world is in an economic recession, and each country has felt the devastating effects. Here in America, money has become tighter, jobs fewer, and food prices have gone up considerably. The current financial slowdown has probably prompted many a shopper to think twice about buying a brand new Ipod, and many more to forgo a purchase of that nature altogether. However, as citizens of an astoundingly wealthy, industrialized nation, if we believe that our current situation is disappointingly inopportune, then we would be greatly mistaken. Not only would we be mistaken, we would also be extremely foolish to lament over our petty woes when millions of people in developing countries live-and often die in a state of perpetual poverty, under deplorable conditions. In fact, according to the MilleniumProject commissioned by the United Nations, nearly four billion people-more than half of the people on the planet-live in poverty. The result is that some countries are stupendously rich while others are horrendously poor. It is for that very reason that wealthy, industrialized nations should adopt a policy in which they share a portion of their wealth with developing nations, a policy from which there could be many beneficiaries.