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Rea D'souza Posted 11 years ago
Letter Writing
Persuasive Essay
Can you please point out my errors in the below persuasive essay. Thanks in advance
Should Children bring electronics to school?
School is a place of learning and growing. It is where children grasp basic concepts of life that help them for a better future. It also teaches them various skills and subjects that help them choose a right career path. A school should have a serious atmosphere that enables children to learn without distractions. In my opinion, children should not bring electronic gadgets to school because it causes a distraction, can affect their health and can also create jealousy amidst one another.
Firstly, learning takes place only when the mind is completely concentrated on the task at hand. Electronic gadgets often create distractions. Children get more involved at tasks related to their phones like texting and listening to music. In this process, they loose concentration in class, fail to grasp the subject taught and this affects their grades adversely.
Secondly, electronic gadgets can create various health issues. Most children get glued to the screens of their phones, and this can cause an irritation to their eyes and their vision. Electronic gadgets, if used for longs hours together, can give out harmful waves that can affect the organs of one's body, making those organs inactive. Sometimes these damages cannot be undone by medical care and surgeries.
Lastly, the kind of electronic gadgets one owns can create jealousy in his/her social circles. Children come from different backgrounds, both rich and poor, to school for a good education. When children of different families are given electronics, it is given based on how much the child's parent can afford. Some children envy richer children's gadgets and begin wishing they had them too. This affects their self-esteem and when they cannot obtain it from their parents, they begin to fall under depression because of what they do not possess.
Thus, from all the reasons I have mentioned above, I believe that children should not bring electronics to school.
Should Children bring electronics to school?
School is a place of learning and growing. It is where children grasp basic concepts of life that help them for a better future. It also teaches them various skills and subjects that help them choose a right career path. A school should have a serious atmosphere that enables children to learn without distractions. In my opinion, children should not bring electronic gadgets to school because it causes a distraction, can affect their health and can also create jealousy amidst one another.
Firstly, learning takes place only when the mind is completely concentrated on the task at hand. Electronic gadgets often create distractions. Children get more involved at tasks related to their phones like texting and listening to music. In this process, they loose concentration in class, fail to grasp the subject taught and this affects their grades adversely.
Secondly, electronic gadgets can create various health issues. Most children get glued to the screens of their phones, and this can cause an irritation to their eyes and their vision. Electronic gadgets, if used for longs hours together, can give out harmful waves that can affect the organs of one's body, making those organs inactive. Sometimes these damages cannot be undone by medical care and surgeries.
Lastly, the kind of electronic gadgets one owns can create jealousy in his/her social circles. Children come from different backgrounds, both rich and poor, to school for a good education. When children of different families are given electronics, it is given based on how much the child's parent can afford. Some children envy richer children's gadgets and begin wishing they had them too. This affects their self-esteem and when they cannot obtain it from their parents, they begin to fall under depression because of what they do not possess.
Thus, from all the reasons I have mentioned above, I believe that children should not bring electronics to school.
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