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Diotima Posted 13 years ago
Vocabulary
person's profile - urgent!
Can you please check this excerpt for me? It is extremely important.
I'm writing a formal document and I should include interviewees' account of a specific topic. To introduce one of them, I wonder if this wording is appropriate (e.g.
1)does it read fine;
2) is 'with chronic illness' elegant or should I find a different phrasing?) :
'Feelings of indignation run through her account while XXX carefully explains the impact of this legal lacuna. The discontent is reinforced by her position as a single, successful businesswoman with chronic illness .
I'm writing a formal document and I should include interviewees' account of a specific topic. To introduce one of them, I wonder if this wording is appropriate (e.g.
1)does it read fine;
2) is 'with chronic illness' elegant or should I find a different phrasing?) :
'Feelings of indignation run through her account while XXX carefully explains the impact of this legal lacuna. The discontent is reinforced by her position as a single, successful businesswoman with chronic illness .
Top answer
1. To say a lacuna has an impact is a mixed metaphor. 2.
- 1.
- To say a lacuna has an impact is a mixed metaphor.
- 2.
- I don't know what you are referring to with "with chronic illness", so it's hard to say.
- "
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4 Answers
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1. To say a lacuna has an impact is a mixed metaphor.
2. I don't know what you are referring to with "with chronic illness", so it's hard to say. If she has one illness that is chronic, like MS, I would expect "businesswoman with a chronic illness."
2. I don't know what you are referring to with "with chronic illness", so it's hard to say. If she has one illness that is chronic, like MS, I would expect "businesswoman with a chronic illness."
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Thank you so much, enoon!
I have changed the second sentence as you suggested. With regard to the first point, how can I emphas
I have changed the second sentence as you suggested. With regard to the first point, how can I emphas
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I don't know what you are referring to with "legal lacuna", so it's hard to say. I objected to the mixed metaphor. A lacuna is a gap, basically nothing. An impact is when one thing runs into another. The impact of nothing will be nil. When a metaphor stands alone, the reader accepts it as such and ignores its literal meaning. When you throw two together like that, they both come alive and fight.
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I see what you mean, thank you for pointing it out. I can see the whole paragraph through different lenses. And thank you for the suggestion as well, much appreciated!
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