PERSONAL STATEMENTS REVIEW PLEASE.

HI. i am almost done with my personal statements. just wondering if i could have some advice on them.

1.) Describe the World you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Soon after my parent’s divorce, they each went their separate ways. A few years later, my mother and stepdad had some trouble with the law, and as a result my brothers and I were taken away into another family. Through all this, the person that hurt the most was my maternal grandmother. She took care of my brothers and I all our lives, especially when our mom wasn’t there, and seeing her in tears when they took us away made my heart ache. I didn’t understand much, except for the fact that I was put into a home with strangers and my family wasn’t with me. Although I was allowed to talk to them on the phone each night, my plead for them to take me home had no effect. Since my foster family did not speak the same language that my brothers and I did, I became their translator as well as the person who would pacify my brothers whenever they asked for my grandma. During the next two years, my brothers and I moved into three different families. Although the first two families weren’t loving nor caring, what occurred in those homes made me realize that I was the only person who would be taking care of my brothers and protecting them from harm. Every night on the phone, instead of the usual goodbyes, my grandma ended with “nh? cham sóc em cho ngo?i (remember to take care of your brothers for me)” and I responded a simple “I will”. To me, that conversation was a promise I had to keep. Even after my grandmother died in November 2005, I made sure to remember her words as well as the vast amount of love she had for my brothers and I. On November of my 4^th grade year, I went to live with my dad’s side of the family. As for my brothers, they went to live with my aunt from my mom’s side. For the next few years, things started to settle down. I didn’t see my social worker as often, and during my 6^th grade year, my case was finally closed. What I went through made me think over what I wanted to do with my life. Although many people want a high paying career and materialistic amenities, my dreams were simpler. After my grandmother died, my mom moved to Georgia to start a new life, which changed her into a better person overall. I decided that my dream was to have a career that I enjoyed and make decent pay to provide for my mom and younger brothers. My dad had his own life as an owner of a nail shop with a wife and kids, but my mother was different; she lived paycheck to paycheck, barely getting by. In addition, my brothers had a father that was running away from the law and a mother who was halfway across the country. College is important to me because of my goal to pursue a higher education in hope of having a satisfying career. My brothers and my mom inspire me to do better and work harder to reach this goal. For example, whenever there are days when I feel like giving up, just thinking of my mother and brothers give me the strength to try harder. They mean a lot to me in that, without them, I wouldn’t have any dreams or aspirations to go through college and pursue a rewarding career. Thanks to them, I have the motivation to deal with the hardships that I face. The road ahead will most definitely be difficult; however, I know the rewards will make the challenge worthwhile.

2.) Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

If I had to choose a quality or accomplishment that represents me, I would have to choose the fact that I’ve already come this far in my academic accomplishments. Many people would see this as something that is very minor to them. Although graduating high school is a big step, there are many people, who have gone through that part in their lives, so they see it as an obvious step towards the future. As for my parents, they never had the chance to go as far as they would like. My mother was pregnant with me during her junior year of high school and my father was in his senior year of high school. My mother’s goals were to become a pharmacist, but because of fatal mistakes and many obstacles, she couldn’t pursue that goal. The fact that I even have the choice to go to college is an amazing accomplishment for me. The application process that I’m going through was something that my parents could never do. They never had the chance to apply for college or the chance to write personal statements like I am doing right now. I actually have that opportunity to do something that my parents wish they could’ve done. It makes me proud that I’ve actually come this far academically. However, achieving this goal will not be the end for me. As a matter of fact, this accomplishment will only be the beginning. There are so many other goals I want to achieve and many adventures I want to experience for myself. Although I’ve come just as far as my parents have, I’m sure that they would want me to make my own decisions and live life according to the goals I’ve set for myself. With all of the things my parents have been through, it makes me appreciate the things that other people take for granted. Something as basic as a high school diploma may seem very minor to some other people, but to me and my family, it is an accomplishment that required me to go through a lot to get to. Although my parents never had this amazing opportunity, I will make sure to live my life to the fullest, and appreciate all the opportunities that come my way.

3.) Tell us a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.

Throughout my childhood, I was faced with obstacles that caused my goals to diminish right before my eyes. Not only were my parents divorced, but during second grade, my brothers and I were placed in a foster home as a result of wrongdoings my mom did. During our time in the foster home, I was mainly concerned with my brothers because of the fact that they were fairly young, the youngest being a few months old and the oldest being three. I didn’t understand much, except for the fact that I was put into a home with strangers and my family wasn’t with me. Although I was allowed to talk to them on the phone each night, my plead for them to take me home had no effect. Since my foster family did not speak the same language that my brothers and I did, I became their translator as well the person who would pacify my brothers whenever they wanted to go home. Within the next two years, my siblings and I moved into three different homes. Although the first two families weren’t loving nor caring, what occurred in those homes made me realize that I was the only person who would be taking care of my brothers and protecting them from harm. Eventually, I realized that my real family was working hard to bring my brothers and I back home, and all I had to do was wait. Although things were bad, I simply thought “It couldn’t possibly get any worse”. Finally, on November of my 4^th grade year, my patience was rewarded. My siblings and I left our foster homes and we were allowed to go home. I went to live with my dad’s side of the family. As for my brothers, they went to live with my aunt from my mom’s side. For the next few years, things started to settle down. I didn’t see my social worker as often, and during my 6^th grade year, my case was finally closed. Although not having my family beside me was hard, if it weren’t for being in a foster home, I wouldn’t experience just how important a real family is. Also I wouldn’t be able to tell myself to find the silver lining in a bad situation. In my case, not only was my mom in and out of jail, my dad also moved to New York for several years as a result of my parents’ divorce. I was basically left with my maternal grandparents and later placed into a foster family due to the fact that my grandmother was hiding my mother from the police officials. Although my past may seem bad at first, but as a result, my brothers became the main reason why I am pursuing a higher education. They are my motivation to pursue a rewarding career in addition to having a college education. Thanks to them, I have the motivation to deal with the hardships that I face every day. In addition, whenever I feel that a task may be too difficult to accomplish, I think of my brothers, my time in the foster home, and the hardships that I’ve faced. Then, I realize that there is always a silver lining if I have the patience and perseverance. My motto, “You never know unless you try” is based on my personal belief of when someone allows themselves to think negatively in a bad situation, the situation only becomes worse. With my past memories behind me, I can now look towards the future in hope of accomplishing my goals.

4.) How would you contribute to a community of students richly diverse in cultural backgrounds, experiences and viewpoints.

From a young age, I never really thought that I was culturally diverse compared to the other children around me who were bilingual, trilingual, etc. My mom’s side is Vietnamese and my dad’s side is Vietnamese-Chinese. However, I didn’t really take up the Chinese culture since I lived most of my childhood with my mom’s side of the family. Thankfully, during middle school I started to take an interest in other cultures. At first, I didn’t think there was a main difference in most of the countries, but the more I researched, the distinctness of each culture began to show. To me, Europe was Europe and Asia was Asia. I never realized that there were so many subdivisions, even within each country. In order to better understand each country, I used my interest in music and applied it to my interest in culture. At that time, I felt that an important part of learning a country’s culture was through their music. I remember finding it intriguing that although the languages are different, the music is essentially similar. Through music, I found my love for each country’s culture which then led to an interest in their traditions and customs. I understand that diversity is essential to the University of Washington and although I am diverse in my own ways, I feel that one specific attribute that individualizes me from others is the fact that I am willing and wanting to learn more. In my opinion, a community is based on the idea that each individual learns from each other. In this sense, I hope to spread the cultural knowledge that I have already obtained as well as continue to learn through the diverse staff and students on campus upon attending the University of Washington. In the future, I plan to use that knowledge towards my studies and become a student that is not only culturally diverse, but also academically knowledgeable as well.

any help is greatly appreciated . thank you.