Hello,Could anyone check my essay and give me some feedback (e.g., grammatical error, logical flow, conciseness, comment...)?Thank you!!!Describe a problem that your organization faced and the solution that was proposed to address it. What was your role in the design and implementation of the solution and what was the final outcome? What did you learn from the process?While I was a college student at National Taiwan Ocean University, I dedicated myself to NTOU Chinese Medicine Club. The most impressive problem I've solved was to hold a free health clinic event for communities. This event was designed for providing free health care for people in Keelung City and its rural areas. This event involved school and community volunteers, physicians, and a lot of effort. It was the first time I successfully demonstrated my leadership and problem solving skills.
To successfully conduct this event, we had to solve two main problems in advance, including insufficient budget and the time conflict of volunteer staff. I, as a leader of the financial team, dealt with the insufficient budget problem through various approaches. I initiated a meeting to address the budget problem and to list any possible solutions. I carefully listened to everyone's opinion and let everyone involve in discussion. I also adopted a debate method, asking them to defend their arguments based on supporting evidence, as well as to point out any logical flaw against others' solutions. Then I made the decision based on the most reasonable one and identified its opportunity. The debate process didn't decrease their morale, in fact, through the debate, they could comprehend each solution thoroughly from various aspects, and its outcome often combine two of the best solutions. It hence led us to the solution of using online donations. To implement online donations, we took advantage of free resources and technical supports from the school's computer center. We then created a temporary website for this event and sent invitations to every student and faculty, asking them to refer this event to their families and friends. Additionally, I collaborated with the marketing team publishing a brochure. This brochure not only provided essential information about this event and our mission statement, but it also had some pages for advertising purposes. I thus spent an entire week calling hundreds of restaurants, clinics, and companies to sponsor this event through advertising in the brochure. These strategies successfully raised $2,000 within three weeks, which met our budget requirement.
Because many of the problems I was required to solve were sometimes too large for me to address alone, I learned to get other people involved and managed them effectively in terms of leadership styles. Through this process, I learned to see the problems in the context of the entire event rather than as isolated problems. Furthermore, the process of debate was to create ideas assessed by everyone. It helped me make a decision, identify opportunities, and take the initiative gaining consensus from members. This successful experience later on made contributions to my study, military service, and occupation in terms of leading a study group, a squad, and a marketing team. Nonetheless, I was still looking for new approaches to successfully lead a team in the business world. Attending a graduate school in business management is therefore the next logical step for me.