Personal statement essay

Hello,

I just finished writing a draft for my personal statement essay, and would like to get some feedback on it. I also have a few questions. Does a personal statement essay need a title? Also, do i need to put my name and other things, as would be required in a regular essay? I would appreciate your response.

Thank you.

My father once said “Having a quality education will not only open up the doors of success for you, but it will also enable you to look beyond your horizons.” Those words always stuck with me in my pursuit of getting an advanced education. However, math and science were not my strongest subjects, and when i got into high school, i allowed them to create a big setback for me. It got to a point where I started avoiding going to those classes, which really put a big strain on my gpa. Worst of all, the people whom i trusted the most, started to say “Why don’t you just quit and learn a trade?” Those words weighed down heavily on me, but i did not let it stop my willpower to graduate from high school. I worked harder and did the best i could. In the long run my hard work paid off, because i was able to graduate from high school, which was a great moment in my life, because i was able to overcome obstacles.

Next, once i was out of high school, i enrolled in a local community college in my area. But i still had doubts about my proficiency in math and science, especially when it was going to be at a college level. I knew that just like in high school, i needed to pass those subjects in order to graduate. I became nervous and filled with fear. I felt like i was carrying a big burden on my shoulder. After failing three semesters of math despite getting help with it, i just gave up. I dropped out of college and started working at a retail store not too far from my house. I was very ashamed of myself for doing so, and felt like a failure. After working in retail for two years, and still not earning enough to do much, despite working overtime, i thought to myself one day “Is this what it’s like when one doesn’t have adequate education?” It got to a point where i just wanted to stop working, because i wasn’t fulfilled. Throughout the years, i worked in different places until i met my husband. We got married after dating for a few years, and then we had a baby. Suddenly, i woke up. It felt like i had been sleeping for so long and suddenly got awakened by a big bang. My child really meant a lot to me, and i knew that as much as he needed to be loved, cherished and showed affection, he also needed to know as he got older, how important it was to have a quality education. Yes, my husband could instill those values in him; after all he had his master’s degree. But i didn’t want it to stop there. I wanted my son to see that obstacles can be diminished and success achieved once you set your mind to it. So, in the spring of 2008, i enrolled at the University of the District of Columbia. Instead of letting math and science overpower me and control my life, i decided to take them by the horns. I will not say that i did not have doubts, but my son has been my biggest motivation, along with the support of husband. So far, i have finished all the required math classes for my major with A’s and B’s, and looking forward to taking science classes ahead, which brings me to why i would like to transfer to the University of Pittsburgh.

First of all, i intend to relocate to Pittsburgh this fall, and have been doing my research on universities located there. Seeing that you are among the nation’s eminent universities with a wide variety of competitive courses to challenge the minds of students, i have decided that the University of Pittsburgh is where i want to be. Also, i want to face those challenges, so that my son will understand that sometimes you have to climb a mountain in order to see what is beyond it. Once i am done with my bachelor’s degree in Social work, i would love to further my education to the highest, and obtain my PhD. As my father once said “A quality education will not only open up the doors of success for me, but it will also enable me to look beyond my horizons.”