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Yogi2005 Posted 21 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
People do not trust medicne these days
0 hello, 02 br
02 br
00 These are some fragments of an essay. Please could you look at it and correct grammar and vocab. mistakes. 02 br
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00 Medicine, when it comes to treating people, as well as national health organizations in many countries is a hot issue. 02 br
00 A lot of concerns and complaints are being raised especially in the countries where the health insurance system does not work the way it should work or is expected to work. 02 br
00 ....................... 02 br
00 .................... 02 br
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00 The doctors who are money oriented work many hours a day. This is and exaggaration if they say that they have to work for so long to make ends meet. 02 br
00 ..................... 02 br
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00 The problem of overcrowded and dirty clinics and hospitals, doctors who help unwillingly can be blamed on the government. In the end , this is the government that is responsible for the health insurance system. 02 br
00 The above contributes a lot to people's attitude and because of those facts many people don't trust medicine. 02 br
00 ...................... 02 br
00 .................... 02 br
00 Medicine is a scince that helps us not only to extend our live but also fight our more or less serious disorders making our live easier. 02 br
02 br
00 thanks for help 0-
02 br
00 These are some fragments of an essay. Please could you look at it and correct grammar and vocab. mistakes. 02 br
02 br
02 br
00 Medicine, when it comes to treating people, as well as national health organizations in many countries is a hot issue. 02 br
00 A lot of concerns and complaints are being raised especially in the countries where the health insurance system does not work the way it should work or is expected to work. 02 br
00 ....................... 02 br
00 .................... 02 br
00 ...................... 02 br
00 The doctors who are money oriented work many hours a day. This is and exaggaration if they say that they have to work for so long to make ends meet. 02 br
00 ..................... 02 br
00 ..................... 02 br
00 The problem of overcrowded and dirty clinics and hospitals, doctors who help unwillingly can be blamed on the government. In the end , this is the government that is responsible for the health insurance system. 02 br
00 The above contributes a lot to people's attitude and because of those facts many people don't trust medicine. 02 br
00 ...................... 02 br
00 .................... 02 br
00 Medicine is a scince that helps us not only to extend our live but also fight our more or less serious disorders making our live easier. 02 br
02 br
00 thanks for help 0-
Top answer
0 Hi, I'm the newcomer in this forum. I've looked through your essay and find these , according to me should be rewritten: 02 br 00 - 'it should work or is expected to work' just 'it should or is expected' 02 br 00 -'The doctors who are money oriented' : this sentence is somewhat vauge , I think, may change as: doctors who consider money as an incentives 02 br 00 to be honest , why don't you rewrite the whole text as I'm afraid that it is a little bit confusing in structures 02 br 00 Hope to see your better essays 0-
- 0 Hi, I'm the newcomer in this forum.
- I've looked through your essay and find these , according to me should be rewritten: 02 br 00 - 'it should work or is expected to work' just 'it should or is expected' 02 br 00 -'The doctors who are money oriented' : this sentence is somewhat vauge , I think, may change as: doctors who consider money as an incentives 02 br 00 to be honest , why don't you rewrite the whole text as I'm afraid that it is a little bit confusing in structures 02 br 00 Hope to see your better essays 0-
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8 Answers
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0 Hi, I'm the newcomer in this forum. I've looked through your essay and find these , according to me should be rewritten: 02 br
00 - 'it should work or is expected to work' just 'it should or is expected' 02 br
00 -'The doctors who are money oriented' : this sentence is somewhat vauge , I think, may change as: doctors who consider money as an incentives 02 br
00
00 - 'it should work or is expected to work' just 'it should or is expected' 02 br
00 -'The doctors who are money oriented' : this sentence is somewhat vauge , I think, may change as: doctors who consider money as an incentives 02 br
00
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0 Hello Lihn and welcome to the forum. We look forward to seeing lots of posts from you, and perhaps you'll send us one of your essays. 02 br
02 br
00 The forum exists to help people with their questions about English.English can be a difficult language to learn, so we always try to be encouraging. We enjoy debating, and we don't always agree, so you will find lots of opinions h
02 br
00 The forum exists to help people with their questions about English.English can be a difficult language to learn, so we always try to be encouraging. We enjoy debating, and we don't always agree, so you will find lots of opinions h
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0 Hi Yogi, 02 br
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00 You seem to have worked hard on this, and have some good ideas. I have tried not to make too many changes. 02 br
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00 When it comes to giving medical teatment, The organisation of national health services is a hot issue in many countries. A lot of concerns and complaints are being raised, especially in countries where the health in
02 br
00 You seem to have worked hard on this, and have some good ideas. I have tried not to make too many changes. 02 br
02 br
00 When it comes to giving medical teatment, The organisation of national health services is a hot issue in many countries. A lot of concerns and complaints are being raised, especially in countries where the health in
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0 Thank you Abbie very much. 02 br
00 I'm very grateful to you for your help. 02 br
00 I apprecite the fact that you didn't rewrite the whole text but just corrected what needed correction. I think that's the best way I can see what I've done wrong. 02 br
02 br
00 Please, could you help me to clear my doubts? 02 br
00 1) 02 br
00 My first
00 I'm very grateful to you for your help. 02 br
00 I apprecite the fact that you didn't rewrite the whole text but just corrected what needed correction. I think that's the best way I can see what I've done wrong. 02 br
02 br
00 Please, could you help me to clear my doubts? 02 br
00 1) 02 br
00 My first
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00 I didn't find it confusing, yogi, because you 01 b 00 said 02 b 00 that it was fragments of your essay. 02 br
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00 I would like to mention that if the text is a little bit confusing (as Linh said) it is because of the fact that I put only some fragments of my essay in here 12 blockquote12 br
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00 I didn't find it confusing, yogi, because you 01 b 00 said 02 b 00 that it was fragments of your essay. 02 br
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0 HI Abbie and Yogi 02 br
00 I din't mean to hurt anyone it was just my point of view. Admittedly, I din't notice it was a fragment. May be I was an armchair critic . Bye 02 br
00 Ps: thank you Abbie for your correction. 0-
00 I din't mean to hurt anyone it was just my point of view. Admittedly, I din't notice it was a fragment. May be I was an armchair critic . Bye 02 br
00 Ps: thank you Abbie for your correction. 0-
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0 Hi Lihn, and welcome. 02 br
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00 That's OK - it's an easy thing to do, and I've done it myself. I hope we'll see more posts from you soon. 05 0 010id 1
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00 I din't notice it was a fragment 12 blockquote12 br
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00 That's OK - it's an easy thing to do, and I've done it myself. I hope we'll see more posts from you soon. 05 0 010id 1
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