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Dntoupin Posted 15 years ago
Grammar
Past tenses/phrasing
Hi, I'm writing an essay about medical trips I made to third-world countries, and expressing why I want to pursue a career in medicine. I wrote the following sentence:
Doctors on these trips became role models for me; I hoped I could one day help people as they were.
My exposure to these trips are completed actions in the past. The activities of the doctors however, continued beyond my period of observation. The second part of the sentence explains how they were role models to me. They were role models in the way that they were capable of helping people. Is my sentence 1) gramatically correct (particularly ending in 'as they were') 2) adequately expressing the ideas and temporal components mentioned above? If not, any suggestions?
Thanks!
Neil
Doctors on these trips became role models for me; I hoped I could one day help people as they were.
My exposure to these trips are completed actions in the past. The activities of the doctors however, continued beyond my period of observation. The second part of the sentence explains how they were role models to me. They were role models in the way that they were capable of helping people. Is my sentence 1) gramatically correct (particularly ending in 'as they were') 2) adequately expressing the ideas and temporal components mentioned above? If not, any suggestions?
Thanks!
Neil
Top answer
Hello, Neil - and welcome to English Forums. 1. The ending has a hidden grammar that is correct, but it does not come through clearly.
- Hello, Neil - and welcome to English Forums.
- 1.
- The ending has a hidden grammar that is correct, but it does not come through clearly.
- 2.
- Yes, as I suggest here: Doctors on these trips became my role models , and I hoped I could one day help people in the same way.
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1 Answers
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Hello, Neil - and welcome to English Forums.
1. The ending has a hidden grammar that is correct, but it does not come through clearly.
2. Yes, as I suggest here:
Doctors on these trips became my role models, and I hoped I could one day help people in the same way.
1. The ending has a hidden grammar that is correct, but it does not come through clearly.
2. Yes, as I suggest here:
Doctors on these trips became my role models, and I hoped I could one day help people in the same way.
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