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Moon7296 Posted 12 years ago
Grammar
participial phrase (effect)
In 1928 she became the first woman to cross the Atlantic in a plane, though as a passenger. In 1932 she accomplished the flight alone, becoming the first woman and the second person to do so.
Q) Does the last sentence sound okay if it is rephrased like ones below?
1. In 1932 she accomplished the flight alone, so she became the first woman and the second person to do so.
2. In 1932 she accomplished the flight alone, and she became the first woman and the second person to do so.
3. In 1932 she accomplished the flight alone, thereby becoming the first woman and the second person to do so.
Q2) If #3 is natural, what can replace "thereby?" Is it "so?" Whatelse if there are more?
Q) Does the last sentence sound okay if it is rephrased like ones below?
1. In 1932 she accomplished the flight alone, so she became the first woman and the second person to do so.
2. In 1932 she accomplished the flight alone, and she became the first woman and the second person to do so.
3. In 1932 she accomplished the flight alone, thereby becoming the first woman and the second person to do so.
Q2) If #3 is natural, what can replace "thereby?" Is it "so?" Whatelse if there are more?
Top answer
moon7296 Does the last sentence sound okay if it is rephrased like ones below? Yes, but the sentence is fine as it stands, so the rephrasings, though they sound OK, do not really make any improvements. The second, in fact, misses out on the logical connection between the two clauses, making them seem almost like two separate and independent events, which they are not.
- moon7296 Does the last sentence sound okay if it is rephrased like ones below?
- Yes, but the sentence is fine as it stands, so the rephrasings, though they sound OK, do not really make any improvements.
- The second, in fact, misses out on the logical connection between the two clauses, making them seem almost like two separate and independent events, which they are not.
- " "so" sounds excessively formal to me, and likely to be misinterpreted, but "thus" works fine as a replacement for "thereby".
- CJ
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1 Answers
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moon7296Does the last sentence sound okay if it is rephrased like ones below?Yes, but the sentence is fine as it stands, so the rephrasings, though they sound OK, do not really make any improvements. The second, in fact, misses out on the logical connection between the two clauses, making them seem almost like two separate and independent events, which they
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