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Anonymous Posted 14 years ago
Grammar
Parallel Sentence Structure
Could the following sentence be made parallel? If so, how? If there is nothing wrong with it, can a brief explanation be offered as to why, please? Thanks very much for your help.
"He was good-looking, probably in his middle forties, and the suit was ultra-discreet but expensive."
"He was good-looking, probably in his middle forties, and the suit was ultra-discreet but expensive."
Top answer
This is fine: He was good-looking, probably in his middle forties, and his suit was ultra-discreet but expensive . What could be wrong with it? Creative writing does not require a conjunction at every turn.
- This is fine: He was good-looking, probably in his middle forties, and his suit was ultra-discreet but expensive .
- What could be wrong with it?
- Creative writing does not require a conjunction at every turn.
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4 Answers
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This is fine:
He was good-looking, probably in his middle forties, and his suit was ultra-discreet but expensive.
What could be wrong with it? Creative writing does not require a conjunction at every turn.
He was good-looking, probably in his middle forties, and his suit was ultra-discreet but expensive.
What could be wrong with it? Creative writing does not require a conjunction at every turn.
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Mister MicawberCreative writing does not require a conjunction at every turn.My sincere thanks for the tip. I also concur with your suggestion.
Though if you wouldn't mind, could you further clarify the above quote from your response, please? My concern was that the structure of the sentence I originally posted makes it appear like a list of three it
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My concern was that the structure of the sentence I originally posted makes it appear like a list of three items. -- I see what concerns you, but I don't think the lack of 'and' before 'probably' misleads the reader at all. 'Probably...forties' stands neatly as a comment phrase, I think (or whatever it might be called: a parenthetical addition?) The commas could be replaced structurally b
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This is okay. It might be used, for example, in the following:
A man in a business suit suddenly entered the room where I was sitting. I'm fashion-conscious and he caught my eye because of how he was dressed. He was good-looking, probably in his middle forties, and the suit was ultra-discreet but expensive.
A man in a business suit suddenly entered the room where I was sitting. I'm fashion-conscious and he caught my eye because of how he was dressed. He was good-looking, probably in his middle forties, and the suit was ultra-discreet but expensive.
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