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Mohamed Rezkea Posted 12 years ago
Grammar

Paragraph Correction

it was a great period in my life , it was like a transferring point in my life i can say that those five months were the greatest period i lived because i discovered new places , i had a lot of fun , i traveled to many places , i knew many people from all over the world so i found new cultures and i discovered awesome things ,
i can say that Erasmus Mundus is the best way to improve your skills and gain experience specially as an exchange student
  

Top answer

Here are three problems. Perhaps you could try fixing these first: 1. You need to organise the text into proper sentences, each one starting with a capital letter and ending with a full stop.

— GPY

  • Here are three problems.
  • Perhaps you could try fixing these first: 1.
  • You need to organise the text into proper sentences, each one starting with a capital letter and ending with a full stop.
  • At the moment the whole passage is one huge run-on sentence.
  • 2.
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6 Answers
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Here are three problems. Perhaps you could try fixing these first:

1. You need to organise the text into proper sentences, each one starting with a capital letter and ending with a full stop. At the moment the whole passage is one huge run-on sentence.

2. The word "I" must always be capitalised, wherever it appears.

3. Your spacing around commas is incorrect. You should
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Oh Thank you for your reply !

now i edited it !!

It was a great period in my life, it was like a transferring point in my life.
I can say that those five months were the greatest period I lived because I discovered new places, I had a lot of fun, I traveled to many places,I knew many people from all over the world so I found new cultures and I discovered awesome things.
I
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That looks much better. A couple more points:

1. You should not put line breaks at the end of each sentence within a paragraph.

2. The first sentence is a comma splice (two independent clauses joined only by a comma, without a suitable conjunction). This is normally an error. In your case it could perhaps be defended, but it seems best to fix it. You can do this in various ways,
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Thank you
you are right I have to get out of this habit Emotion: smile

I'm sorry but I don't understand what do you mean by ;
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Yes, that's what I meant. It's still not perfect, but the imperfections are less now.
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