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Anonymous Posted 14 years ago
Grammar

Paragraph Correction

The bottom part of the balloon that carries the passengers and burners is called a basket. The basket comes in wide variety of types, different shapes, and sizes because that parts is relatively alterable; however, the basket must serve several purposes, including protecting passengers and supporting the burner system, so it is usually made of materials that are extremely strong, flexible and lightweight.

How should I modify this paragraph?
  

Top answer

This is generally good. My basic suggestion is that you break up the long sentence. This would make your paragraph easier to read.

— Doctor D

  • This is generally good.
  • My basic suggestion is that you break up the long sentence.
  • This would make your paragraph easier to read.
  • Here is my new wording: The bottom part of the balloon , which carries the passengers and burners , is called a basket.
  • The basket comes in a wide variety of types, different shapes, and sizes because that part is relatively alterable.
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1 Answers
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This is generally good. My basic suggestion is that you break up the long sentence. This would make your paragraph easier to read. Here is my new wording:

The bottom part of the balloon, which carries the passengers and burners, is called a basket. The basket comes in a wide variety of types, different shapes, and sizes because that part is
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