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Sheena84 Posted 20 years ago
Business & Finance
Paragraph Correction!
Hi Everyone!
Could anyone just help me with the following paragraph? I have some doubts about its grammatical accuracy. I am not sure whether my using ING after each coma is correct!
I don't want to be pushy, but I kinda need it urgently. I will appreciate anyone's help in correcting this paragraph.
Further develop my academic and professional skills. Equip myself with necessary and essential skills and knowledge that would enable me to contribute in building a developed business and professional environment in xxx through improving professional and business skills of individuals in private and governmental sectors, developing organizational structures and systems of xxxi private and governmental institutions, developing high standard performance for xxx institutions and hence set and prepare them to enter global markets as well as identify business opportunities for foreign investment. Thereby, achieve my primary goal which is to contribute in the economic, social and political development of the country.
Thanks in Advance :-).
Could anyone just help me with the following paragraph? I have some doubts about its grammatical accuracy. I am not sure whether my using ING after each coma is correct!
I don't want to be pushy, but I kinda need it urgently. I will appreciate anyone's help in correcting this paragraph.
Further develop my academic and professional skills. Equip myself with necessary and essential skills and knowledge that would enable me to contribute in building a developed business and professional environment in xxx through improving professional and business skills of individuals in private and governmental sectors, developing organizational structures and systems of xxxi private and governmental institutions, developing high standard performance for xxx institutions and hence set and prepare them to enter global markets as well as identify business opportunities for foreign investment. Thereby, achieve my primary goal which is to contribute in the economic, social and political development of the country.
Thanks in Advance :-).
Top answer
Hi, Here are a few comments. I hope you realize that this is written in point form. eg in non-point form, write something like I wish to further develop my academic and professional skills.
- Hi, Here are a few comments.
- I hope you realize that this is written in point form.
- eg in non-point form, write something like I wish to further develop my academic and professional skills.
- In point form, it's usually better to put each point on a separate line.
- I will appreciate anyone's help in correcting this paragraph.
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4 Answers
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Hi,
Here are a few comments.
I hope you realize that this is written in point form. eg in non-point form, write something like I wish to further develop my academic and professional skills. In point form, it's usually better to put each point on a separate line.
I will appreciate anyone's help in correcting this
Here are a few comments.
I hope you realize that this is written in point form. eg in non-point form, write something like I wish to further develop my academic and professional skills. In point form, it's usually better to put each point on a separate line.
I will appreciate anyone's help in correcting this
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Hi Clive,
Thank you very much for your prompt reply and your help! It was very timely and I appreciate it a lot! The paragraph I provided is the objective part of my resumes, that is why it is written in point form. However, I am still not very much sure whether the point form is the right form to use in resumes.
Up on your explanations and your comments, I guess you're right
Thank you very much for your prompt reply and your help! It was very timely and I appreciate it a lot! The paragraph I provided is the objective part of my resumes, that is why it is written in point form. However, I am still not very much sure whether the point form is the right form to use in resumes.
Up on your explanations and your comments, I guess you're right
00
Hi again,
Yes, point form is commonly used and recommended for resumes.
However, the 'objective' section does not typically have more than one main point. It answers the reader's question, 'What does this guy actually want from me? What kind of job/post does he want?' eg
Objective
To obtain a position as an assistant lecturer in business studies, in which I can
Yes, point form is commonly used and recommended for resumes.
However, the 'objective' section does not typically have more than one main point. It answers the reader's question, 'What does this guy actually want from me? What kind of job/post does he want?' eg
Objective
To obtain a position as an assistant lecturer in business studies, in which I can
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