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TeacherJapan Posted 10 years ago
Letter Writing
Paragraph about 'freedom'
Could you check this paragraph?
People find themselves wishing they could quit their jobs and spend all day doing whatever they want to do, such as watching movies or reading books. This desire becomes all the stronger because they find it impossible to carry it out.
People find themselves wishing they could quit their jobs and spend all day doing whatever they want to do, such as watching movies or reading books. This desire becomes all the stronger because they find it impossible to carry it out.
Top answer
I have deleted a weakening phrase. People find themselves wishing they could quit their jobs and spend all day doing whatever they want to do. This desire becomes all the stronger because they find it impossible to carry it out.
- I have deleted a weakening phrase.
- People find themselves wishing they could quit their jobs and spend all day doing whatever they want to do.
- This desire becomes all the stronger because they find it impossible to carry it out.
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2 Answers
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I have deleted a weakening phrase.
People find themselves wishing they could quit their jobs and spend all day doing whatever they want to do. This desire becomes all the stronger because they find it impossible to carry it out.
People find themselves wishing they could quit their jobs and spend all day doing whatever they want to do. This desire becomes all the stronger because they find it impossible to carry it out.
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Thank you very much. It always amazes me how you make sentences simpler yet stronger.
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