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PreciousJones Posted 13 years ago
Grammar

Paragraph

This time I will stay in South America for about a month to try to find the best factories that will be willing to make the two products I have told you about. Your help will be greatly appreciated, and I promise you that it won't be a waste of your time. If everything works out according to plan, I wish for you to be my business partner. I believe as long as I work hard and find the appropriate manufactures and designers, it looks very promising. Please be sure not to leak too much information to outsiders, because South America is notorious for copying and stealing ideas. I hope to see you in the beginning of February. If you need or want anything from California, feel free to let me know.

Thank you.
  

Top answer

Too many words. This time I will be in South America for about a month, looking for factories to make the two products I told you about. Your help would be greatly appreciated, and it won't be a waste of time.

— Mister Micawber

  • Too many words.
  • This time I will be in South America for about a month, looking for factories to make the two products I told you about.
  • Your help would be greatly appreciated, and it won't be a waste of time.
  • If everything works out, I would like you to be my business partner.
  • If I work hard and find the designers and manufacturers, it is very promising.
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1 Answers
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Too many words.

This time I will be in South America for about a month, looking for factories to make the two products I told you about. Your help would be greatly appreciated, and it won't be a waste of time. If everything works out, I would like you to be my business partner. If I work hard and find the designers and manufacturers, it is very promising. Please be sure not to leak any
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