Paper Help (Just on the intro)

I have to do a Sociological Criticism paper on the Awakening by Kate Chopin , for AP lit class, so we had to pass in a draft introduction for the paper and we got it back but I'm not so sure on how I can correct the mistakes I had on it

Society drastically changes over periods of times. Each time period has different beliefs and cultures. <-- Teacher said it was too obvious, too warrant and inclusion, Just as a fyi this is my first sentence of my intro, He also said to grab the readers attention

Secondly,
Society as a whole has a specific perception on culture and beliefs. The shift from the Victorian era to the Modern era constructs a change in the mindset of society and in identity. Authors had to be cautious of the time in which they wrote literature. An author writing a piece of literature in the Victorian era which had radical ideas that defied a belief and rules of the society they live would be harshly criticized; as time progresses forward, society changes and will develop a different view and understanding <-- He said to smooth this out, how can I do that?

Need the help as soon as possible. I have school in 5 hours. :C