Overpopulation

I'm preparing for my Ielts Test in September. Please comment and evaluate the band score of this essay (

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

Overpopulation is a controversy matter for human in the world nowadays because of its rapid growth. There are several causes for this increase, and I completely disagree with this idea that overpopulation is the most important problem in the globe.
To begin with, there are some reasons why the number of citizens is increasing day by day. Firstly, life expectancy nowadays is higher than in the past. This is because the standard of individuals gradually upgrades due to the development of technology. People have the opportunities to use a bunch of up-to-date conditions, which not only cure quickly but also prevent the diseases that were previously untreatable. Secondly, the great birth rate is one of the main reasons which causes overpopulation. In the recent year, people have the trend to breed much more children instead of 1 to 2 kids as before. In the light of the fact, a lot of nations also remove the policy which doesn’t allow each family to have more 2 children.
Going on my next point, I personally believe that humanity has to crop with various problems which are more necessary than the rise in population. One typical example to be mentioned here is that pollution which impacts directly on the individual about mental and physical. In particular, there are various areas flooded in rubbish, leads to water and air environment is polluted seriously. On the other hand, transportation also remains in dispute because of using private cars, which causes some problems such as traffic congestion and accident. Especially, in the rush hour, overloading private cars leads to most of the main roads are packed like sardines and sometimes have serious pile-ups.
Overall, the conclusion to be drawn here is that the more standard’s life improves, the more the global population grows. However, there are numerous vital problems surrounded us, I believe, need to tackle immediately.