OT-ish: on etiquette

Question

What do you do when you meet the (VI) Person whose name you misspelled in a previous correspondence?
1. you apologize for the mistake (blaming it on your assistant)
2. you don't mention it.

There are pros and cons for each alternative:
Don't mention it, maybe he didn't notice, or he already forgot, and by apologizing you only remind him, or notify him that you did not know his name. By mentioning it, you put him in the awkward position of someone who seems to make a big stink about such small things.
OTOH, if you don't apologize and he noticed the misspelling, he may not like it.
Please advise.

Usenet · Accepted Answer

[nq:1]What do you do when you meet the (VI) Person whose name you misspelled in a previous correspondence? 1. you apologize for the mistake (blaming it on your assistant) 2. you don't mention it.[/nq]
~~snip~~
[nq:1]Please advise.[/nq]
Definitely "don't mention it", unless he/she does at which point, pretend that until now you were unaware of the error, and apologise for it.
Make sure you spell it right from now on, and it'll seem like an innocent typo rather than some huge faux-pas.

Cheers, Harvey
Ottawa/Toronto/Edmonton for 30 years;
Southern England for the past 21 years.
(for e-mail, change harvey to whhvs)

Usenet · Answer

Great idea, thanks a lot. The embarassment of apologizing and thus notifying him of my boo boo outweights the anxiety of "what if he noticed it?".

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Great idea, thanks a lot. The embarassment of apologizing and thus notifying him of my boo boo outweights the anxiety of "what if he noticed it?".[/nq]
A good approach when faced with this kind of choice is to "Which of these will dig me further into the hole?" I figure that calling undemanded attention to previous errors pretty well always digs you in deeper...

Cheers, Harvey
Ottawa/Toronto/Edmonton for 30 years;
Southern England for the past 21 years.
(for e-mail, change harvey to whhvs)

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]What do you do when you meet the (VI) Person whose name you misspelled in a previous correspondence? 1. you ... such small things. OTOH, if you don't apologize and he noticed the misspelling, he may not like it. Please advise.[/nq]
Quickly find, or make, an opportunity to send another piece of correspondence in which the name is spelled correctly (with no attention called to it). Then don't mention the matter.

No matter what, though, do not put any blame on anyone else.

Cordially,
Eric Walker
My opinions on English are available at
http://owlcroft.com/english/

Usenet · Answer

(Email Removed) (Arcadian Rises) wrote on 21 Nov 2003:
[nq:1]What do you do when you meet the (VI) Person whose name you misspelled in a previous correspondence? 1. you ... such small things. OTOH, if you don't apologize and he noticed the misspelling, he may not like it. Please advise.[/nq]
#1 is impossible. It's chickenshit to blame someone else even if it's justified for errors like that.
#2 is one of two options. If you don't mention it, it's because you believe that the VIP is big enough to have forgiven you already for the blunder. If you do mention it, it's because you want to give the VIP an opportunity to forgive instead of berate you for being stupid enough not to have checked the spelling of the name.

There are two types of VIPs, those who will disregard such mistakes and escusable typos and those who won't. Deciding which this particular VIP is is always a dilemma. I would apologize and allow the VIP the opportunity to be magnanimous by saying "Oh, did you? I didn't even notice. You don't need to apologize". Let's face it, people always notice when someone (other than themselves) spells their name wrong.
My name gets spelled wrong most of the time (Frank, Frankie, Franky, Franck, Francke) and I notice a get *** off sometimes, especially if it's one of the students in my EFL class, a friend, or someone else who should know better. I would never mention it unless I wanted something additional to use against the offender, and I would never criticise a friend or someone else who should know better, even if they brought it up in an apology, but I would be happy to have the apology and the chance to say "No problem".
I hate it when people try to hide things that are obvious.

Usenet · Answer

...
} I hate it when people try to hide things that are obvious.

Yeah, me, too.

R. J. Valentine
But then doesn't everyone?

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]What do you do when you meet the (VI) Person whose name you misspelled in a previous correspondence? 1. you ... such small things. OTOH, if you don't apologize and he noticed the misspelling, he may not like it. Please advise.[/nq]
Misspelling a person's name, or mispronouncing it, happens often. It's no big deal. Nevertheless, many people are very sensitive about how others treat their name. There is only one thing to do when one of these minor errors is made: mention to the person that you inadvertently misspelled or mispronounced his or her name. The person will then know you attach some significance to their name, assuming you do, and not be left guessing whether you do or don't.

Charles Riggs
Email address: chriggs>at>eircom>dot>net

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]What do you do when you meet the (VI) Person whose name you misspelled in a previous correspondence? 1. you ... such small things. OTOH, if you don't apologize and he noticed the misspelling, he may not like it. Please advise.[/nq]
Decry how modern computers make social intercourse so impersonal and particularly the use of spell-checkers. Blame it squarely on young Bill of Redmond.
Jitze

Usenet · Answer

Thus spake Charles Riggs:
[nq:2]What do you do when you meet the (VI) Person ... noticed the misspelling, he may not like it. Please advise.[/nq]
[nq:1]Misspelling a person's name, or mispronouncing it, happens often. It's no big deal. Nevertheless, many people are very sensitive about ... you attach some significance to their name, assuming you do, and not be left guessing whether you do or don't.[/nq]
I'd like some consistency here. You made a fuss yesterday about people spelling "English" with a lower-case "e". You claimed it was annoying when it happens.
Now, you are telling us that when people misspell your name, which is infinitely more personal than the name of our language, "(i)t's no big deal".
How should we reconcile these two opinions?

Simon R. Hughes

Usenet · Answer

[nq:1]Misspelling a person's name, or mispronouncing it, happens often.[/nq]
Fortunately, unlike the native speakers, I can always get away with mispronouncing names, for obvious reasons.
[nq:1]It's no big deal. Nevertheless, many people are very sensitive about how others treat their name. There is only one ... you attach some significance to their name, assuming you do, and not be left guessing whether you do or don't.[/nq]
That's exactly what I thought, before I got some sensible advice about the merrits of not mentioning it. As the French say, a gaffe is not when you put your feet into the bowl of soup, but when you start to wriggle your socks.

Anyway, I guess I must follow your advice. If you care to learn what happened, I sent a new letter, addressed to the same person, and I misspelled AGAIN his name, exactly the same way I did before.

Is this a mental block or am I a complete moron?
AR,
Beyond help.

OT-ish: on etiquette

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