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Pamela81 Posted 14 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Order of suspension points

Dear all,

please once again I´d need someone who is English native speaker or teacher to correct my letter:

"Dear Sirs\ Madams

we are the company charged with the construction of the stand for customer.... at the fair.....

We wish to order the suspension points which will be hanging the special glass panel positioned in the stand. These suspension points would ensure the stability of the glass panel and respect the Messe´s regulations.

Can you please check the stand design attached and send me an offer the soonest possible? "

Thank you for checking

Regards

PAMELA
  

Top answer

I have underlined some problem areas and struck out useless verbiage: Dear Sirs\ Madams we are the company charged with the construction of constructing the stand f or cu stome r.. a t the fai r.. We wish to order the suspension points which will be hanging for the special glass panel positioned in the stand.

— Mister Micawber

  • I have underlined some problem areas and struck out useless verbiage: Dear Sirs\ Madams we are the company charged with the construction of constructing the stand f or cu stome r..
  • a t the fai r..
  • We wish to order the suspension points which will be hanging for the special glass panel positioned in the stand.
  • These suspension points would ensure the stability of the glass panel and respect the Mess's regulations.
  • Can you please check the stand design attached and send me an offer the soonest possible?
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9 Answers
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I have underlined some problem areas and struck out useless verbiage:

Dear Sirs\ Madams

we are the company charged with the construction of constructing the stand for customer.. at the fair..

We wish to order the suspension points which will be hanging for the special glass panel positioned in the
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Hi,

thank you so much. Please be so kind to tell me if the sentences called by you "useless verbiage" do not work at all there and what do you mean by "problem areas" ??

Please I need your explanation to understand the corrections ...

Thanks

Pamela
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Useless verbiage is unnecessary words. The problem areas need fixing. Please try to correct them and post your revised text for our review.
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Hi,

thanks. I will try to explain what I meant.

"we"... I meant I and my company.

"respect the regulations" I meant to build the stand according to the Fair´s regulations.

"the soonest" I mean as soon as possible

Hope I was clear

Thanks

Pamela
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No, I know what you mean; it is the realization that is wrong. Please correct the errors in your text and post a revised version.
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Hi,

I don´t know if it could work like that:

"Dear Sirs\ Madams,

our company is constructing the stand for a customer who is partecipating to the fair ....(name of the fair).

We wish to order the suspension points for the special glass panel (here I would like to say standing or situated ) in the stand. These points ensure the stability of the panel and the Mess
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Very good. A few changes:

Dear Sirs\ Madams,

Our company is constructing the stand for a customer who is participating in the [name] fair. We wish to order the suspension points for the special glass panel in the stand. These points ensure the stability of the panel and adhere to the Messe's regulations.

Can you please check th
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Dear Mister Micawber,

thank you for the help. One more doubt: I have always thought that correct was" "to partecipate to" or "to partecipate at". "To partecipate in" I have never thought it could be possible..... Is it really the only one correct?

Secondly: can I replace the verb "to partecipate in" with "to attend" ? It would be then: "who is attending the fair...." ?

T
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Mainly, you need to learn how to spell 'participate'. As for following preposition, 'to' does not work and 'at' works only when the venue follows. 'In' is the correct preposition.

We usually think of those who attend fairs as the customers and onlookers, not those who are presenting.
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