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English 1b3 Posted 16 years ago
Grammar
One sentence: 'whether they are...'
I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do in this period of our lives (adolescence), based on my interpretation, focusing each chapter of the book on important segments of this transition period from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important segments are different ages or profound experiences.
Does this sentence make sense to you?
Could I change it to this?
...whether they are different ages or profound experiences.
Thanks
Does this sentence make sense to you?
Could I change it to this?
...whether they are different ages or profound experiences.
Thanks
Top answer
Hi, I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do in this period of our lives (adolescence), based on my interpretation, focusing each chapter of the book on important segments of this transition period from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important segments are different ages or profound experiences. Does this sentence make sense to you? To me, it seems too long and unfocussed.
- Hi, I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do in this period of our lives (adolescence), based on my interpretation, focusing each chapter of the book on important segments of this transition period from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important segments are different ages or profound experiences.
- Does this sentence make sense to you?
- To me, it seems too long and unfocussed.
- Just as one example, do you really need to say 'based on my interpretation'?
- After I read this sentence, I had to read it again a few times to grasp what you are saying.
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5 Answers
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Hi,
I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do in this period of our lives (adolescence), based on my interpretation, focusing each chapter of the book on important segments of this transition period from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important segments are different ages or profound experiences.
Does this sentence make sense to you? To me,
I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do in this period of our lives (adolescence), based on my interpretation, focusing each chapter of the book on important segments of this transition period from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important segments are different ages or profound experiences.
Does this sentence make sense to you? To me,
00
Thanks, what about this?
I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do during adolescence. I want to focus each chapter on important periods of the transition from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important periods/they are different ages or profound experiences.
Is that better? Clearer?
Should I use they or these important pe
I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do during adolescence. I want to focus each chapter on important periods of the transition from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important periods/they are different ages or profound experiences.
Is that better? Clearer?
Should I use they or these important pe
00
Hi,
I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do during adolescence. I want to focus each chapter of the book on important periods of this transition from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important periods/they are different ages or profound experiences.
Is that better? Clearer?
I would say 'the transition' rather than 'this
I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do during adolescence. I want to focus each chapter of the book on important periods of this transition from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important periods/they are different ages or profound experiences.
Is that better? Clearer?
I would say 'the transition' rather than 'this
00
Thanks, CLive
How about this?
I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do during adolescence. I want to focus each chapter of the book on important aspects or periods of the transition from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important aspects or periods/they are different ages or profound experiences.
How about this?
I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do during adolescence. I want to focus each chapter of the book on important aspects or periods of the transition from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important aspects or periods/they are different ages or profound experiences.
00
Hi,
How about this?
I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do during adolescence. I want to focus each chapter of the book on important aspects or periods of the transition from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important aspects or periods/they are different ages or profound experiences.
To me, it's still an awkward mix of aspects, p
How about this?
I plan to write a book explaining why we all feel the way we do during adolescence. I want to focus each chapter of the book on important aspects or periods of the transition from adolescence to adulthood, whether these important aspects or periods/they are different ages or profound experiences.
To me, it's still an awkward mix of aspects, p
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