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Notset Posted 17 years ago
Grammar

One sentence to correct :)

"Moreover, attending to open lectures on marketing, sales and advertisement, delivered by people from business, is really enjoyable way of expanding my view as well as reading books on security of web applications and on other specific IT related topics."

Is it good or not?
  

Top answer

Hi, Welcome to the Forum. Moreover, attending to open lectures on marketing, sales and advertising, delivered by business people, is a really enjoyable way of expanding my view <<< what does this mean? Your sentence is too busy.

  • Hi, Welcome to the Forum.
  • Moreover, attending to open lectures on marketing, sales and advertising, delivered by business people, is a really enjoyable way of expanding my view <<< what does this mean?
  • Your sentence is too busy.
  • You need to make the following section into a second sentence.
  • as well as reading books on security for web applications and on other specific IT-related topics.
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3 Answers
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Hi,

Welcome to the Forum.

Moreover, attending to open lectures on marketing, sales and advertising, delivered by business people, is a really enjoyable way of expanding my view <<< what does this mean?

Your sentence is too busy. You need to make the following section into a second sentence.
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Hello,

Thank you for your time. I see that my sentence is terrible.

Moreover, attending open lectures on marketing, sales and advertising, delivered by business people, is a really enjoyable way of expanding my mind as well as reading books on security for web applications and on other specific IT-related topics.

Do you think that this sentence is too long? Then
0
Hi,

Moreover, attending open lectures on marketing, sales and advertising, delivered by business people, is a really enjoyable way of expanding my mind as well as reading books on security for web applications and on other specific IT-related topics.

Do you think that this sentence is too long? Then how could I separate it by leaving the same meaning?

It's not bad

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