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English 1b3 Posted 16 years ago
Grammar
One sentence--different versions. Grammar
Which is best?
Better version?
Grammar errors?
a. The burn was utterly unbearable for between ten and fifteen minutes, to the point where/that I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, which revealed some severe, hideous, and third-degree burns.
b. The burn was so utterly unbearable for between ten and fifteen minutes, that I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, which revealed some severe, hideous, and third-degree burns.
c. The burn was utterly unbearable for between ten and fifteen minutes, to the point where/that I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, revealing some severe, hideous, and third-degree burns.
d. The burn was utterly unbearable for between ten and fifteen minutes, to the point where/that I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, only to reveal some severe, hideous, and third-degree burns.
Thanks
Better version?
Grammar errors?
a. The burn was utterly unbearable for between ten and fifteen minutes, to the point where/that I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, which revealed some severe, hideous, and third-degree burns.
b. The burn was so utterly unbearable for between ten and fifteen minutes, that I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, which revealed some severe, hideous, and third-degree burns.
c. The burn was utterly unbearable for between ten and fifteen minutes, to the point where/that I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, revealing some severe, hideous, and third-degree burns.
d. The burn was utterly unbearable for between ten and fifteen minutes, to the point where/that I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, only to reveal some severe, hideous, and third-degree burns.
Thanks
Top answer
Either "where" or "that" is acceptable although I personally think I would use "that" in this case. Below is a revised and combined version of versions a and b : "The burn was so utterly unbearable that for between ten and fifteen minutes I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, underneath which revealed some severe and hideous third-degree burns . As for the other two versions, version c is adequate enough however I wouldn't go with version d as "only to reveal" doesn't seem to work at all with the sentence.
- Either "where" or "that" is acceptable although I personally think I would use "that" in this case.
- Below is a revised and combined version of versions a and b : "The burn was so utterly unbearable that for between ten and fifteen minutes I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, underneath which revealed some severe and hideous third-degree burns .
- As for the other two versions, version c is adequate enough however I wouldn't go with version d as "only to reveal" doesn't seem to work at all with the sentence.
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3 Answers
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Either "where" or "that" is acceptable although I personally think I would use "that" in this case.
Below is a revised and combined version of versions a and b:
"The burn was so utterly unbearable that for between ten and fifteen minutes I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, underneath which revealed some severe and hideous th
Below is a revised and combined version of versions a and b:
"The burn was so utterly unbearable that for between ten and fifteen minutes I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, underneath which revealed some severe and hideous th
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Thanks for your reply. I like your version with 'underneath which'. But I'm unsure why you think 'only to' doesn't work.
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hmea1"The burn was so utterly unbearable that for between ten and fifteen minutes I couldn't stop shaking and needed to take off my clothes, underneath which revealed some severe and hideous third-degree burns."Underneath which revealed" is incorrect. And, would you say you needed to take off your clothes for ten minutes? I wouldn't...I'd also point out that
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