One sentence
"In April 2009 a novel flu strain evolved that combined genes from human, pig, and bird flu, initially dubbed "swine flu" and also known as influenza A/H1N1, emerged in Mexico, the United States, and several other nations."
--Wikipedia
1) 'initially dubbed... A/H1N1,'--This seems too far away from the word it modifies (flu strain), but am I right to say it is best to have the relative clause 'that combined genes' placed before it?
2) Shouldn't there be a conjunction before this second verb phrase: 'emerged in Mexico...' or is this done for style, do you think?
3) Would you say this is a good or bad sentence? How would you write it?
Thanks
Top answer
" with "flu strain". Solution: You could change "that combined" to "combining". or express the ideas in two sentences.
- " with "flu strain".
- Solution: You could change "that combined" to "combining".
- or express the ideas in two sentences.
- Not all the information needs to be included in a single sentence.
- It's easier to express, as well as to understand, if there aren't so many relative clauses.
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Solution: You could change "that combined" to "combining". or express the ideas in two sentences. Not all the information needs to be included in a single sentence. It's easier to express, as well as to understand, if there aren't so many relative clauses.
Give it a try.
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