One paragraph of a cover letter

Question

Hey this paragraph is part of my cover letter. Could anyone help me to make it better please?

As a structural engineer I have always been empathetic and curious about the safety and well-being of people and the impacts that the built environment have on their welfare. This is obvious that the potential of human losses will increase if we do not aim to design safer buildings and infrastructures. I am confident that my educational qualifications and previous work experience can bring excellent expertise, skill and knowledge to your team, and that I will be able to provide high quality engineering services that exceed expectations and ensure safety of people.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hello Reza,

I ran the text through Grammarly, which is a grammar and writing tool. There is a free version. It only caught 4 things, which I have underlined and numbererd G1 G2 G3 for you below. One change is stylistic, so I am leaving it out.

+ The nice thing about Grammarly is that it is an AI writing tutor that keeps statistics and gives tips and feedback with explanations. You can try it.

- The bad thing is that it doesn't appear to be all that useful for making writing more effective, as far as I can tell.

Three from Grammarly:

Grammarly G1 As a structural engineer, I have always been empathetic and curious about the safety and well-being of people and the impacts that the built environment have on their welfare. This is obvious that the potential of human losses will increase if we do not aim to design safer buildings and infrastructures. I am confident that my educational qualifications and previous work experience can bring excellent expertise, skill and knowledge to your team, and that I will be able to provide

G2 high-quality engineering services that exceed expectations and ensure G3 the safety of people.

Ideas:

As a structural engineer, I have always been ~~empathetic and curious~~ N1 concerned about the safety and well-being of people and the N2 impacts that ~~the built environment~~ N3 construction has / structures have ? ~~have~~ on their welfare. N4 ~~This~~ It is obvious that the potential N5 risk of human N6 losses will increase if we do not aim to design safer buildings and infrastructures. N7 Based on my reasearch about your organisation, I am confident that my educational qualifications and previous work experience can bring ~~excellent~~ N8 valuable expertise, skill and knowledge to your team. N9 ~~, and that I will be able to provide~~ . N10 I have taken X number of safety engineering courses/am certified in __ and take pride in providingG2 high-quality engineering services that exceed expectations and ensure G3 the safety of people.

One paragraph of a cover letter

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