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Alc24 Posted 16 years ago
Grammar

One paragraph need help with?

Could you help me correct this paragraph?

I'd advise you to learn more about the company and how it operates. The head of the company doesn't like to keep one manger head of one department for too long as it creates affinities with his or her employees making him more lenient and understand when he should be scrupulous.

Thank you
  

Top answer

Hi Alc - You have a run-on sentence. I've broken it into two sentences. I've also suggested more appropriate words for the situation.

— AlpheccaStars

  • Hi Alc - You have a run-on sentence.
  • I've broken it into two sentences.
  • I've also suggested more appropriate words for the situation.
  • I'd advise you to learn more about the company and how it operates.
  • The head (CEO, president) of the company doesn't like to keep one man a ger head of one department for too long as it creates affinities (empathy) with his or her the subordinates (a manager is an employee) .
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7 Answers
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Hi Alc - You have a run-on sentence. I've broken it into two sentences. I've also suggested more appropriate words for the situation.

I'd advise you to learn more about the company and how it operates. The
head (CEO, president) of the company doesn't like to keep one manager head of one department for too long as it creates affinities (empathy)with his or h
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My advice is as below, delete the blue highlighted sections and replace with red script:

I'd advise you to learn more about the company and how it operates.



The head of the company (may replace with ‘owner’, ‘Managing Director’ or the right title for the role) doesn't like to keep one manager as head of one department for too long as it creates affinities with his or
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Can you say "creates affinities with his employees"

CREATE AFFINITIES ??? is that idiomatic? How would you say this please?

Thank you
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Hello Alphecca,

Could you please tell me if you can say "create affinities" please?

Thank you
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Is it idiomatic as you put (empathy) so I don't know which to say?

Thank you
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It is not idiomatic; it means exactly what the individual words say.
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