As the medical treatments nowadays are more and more increasing, the length of time people live is also rising, so is their life longevity. Although some people believe that this is a drawback to our society, in my opinion, the beneficial effects of improved longevity in life outweigh the disadvantages.
Regarding the drawbacks of living longer, some people think that the longer you live, the more food and resources you consume, which will hold back the development of a country. Indeed, elderly people do not have enough strength and health to work; as a result, the government has to assist them by giving a pension every month. This will eventually cut down quite a large amount of money of government's budget and stop numerous investments with other nations. This demanding problem can pull back a country's development greatly.
In spite of the above arguments, I personally believe that the benefits that increasing life expectancy can bring to our society are far more significant than the drawbacks. Enhanced longevity in life would greatly contribute to raising the rate of experienced workers in lots of companies. Employers actually prefer a worker with lots of experiences rather than some fresh graduates due to the fact that companies will not have to spend a great deal of time to train these newbies. Additionally, experienced workers tend to be more flexible and skillful when facing an unexpected problem, unlike new employees with full of surprises and nervousness.
In conclusion, despite the idea that increasing length of living will be a disadvantage to the society, I would argue that this bring more benefits than drawbacks and completely support the development of medical care nowadays.
Some suggestions for you * = change or delete () = add file green 615 As *the (delete article, or write something specific like "the improvements in") medical treatments nowadays are (becoming) more and more *increasing (advanced), the length of time people live is also rising, *so is their (which increases)... longevity. Although some people believe that this is a drawback to our society, in my opinion, the beneficial effects of improved *longevity in life (life expectancy) outweigh the disadvantages.
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Some suggestions for you
* = change or delete() = add
file green 615As *the (delete article, or write something specific like "the improvements in") medical treatments nowadays are (becoming) more and more *increasing (advanced), the length of time people live is also rising, *s
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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
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Topic: One of the consequences of improved medical care is that the people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
My essay: