One liners

Energizer Bunny arrested and charged with battery.

Nope, there are 10 types of people: those who understand binary and those who don't

That was a good one hallvors. How about this one:

A loser is someone who calls the number that's scrawled in lipstick on the phone booth wall, only to have his girlfriend answer.

To a pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To an optimist, the glass is half full.
To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

That was good Chameleon, I've never heard that one before.
How about these changes to some famous proverbs and sayings:

If the mountain will not come to Mahomet, Mahomet must go for beer.

If you chase two rabbits, you won't count your chickens.

Here's my contribution

100,000 sperm and you were the fastest?

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

0 Just when you thought it was safe, here are some more... 02br
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00I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. 02br
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00I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. 02br
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00If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 02br
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00If at first you don

0 I was born intelligent - education ruined me. 02br
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00The wise never marry because when they do, they become otherwise. 02br
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00Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 02br
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00"Hard work never killed anybody" But why take the risk? 02br
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00"Work fascinates me" I can look at it fo

0 This is a beaut! 0-