Okay as it is?
Hi. This is for a script. Would you write it in one or two sentences or is it okay as it is?
She drops him off. He heads to the house. With an empty look she watches him go.
Top answer
It feels slightly staccato. If this is a deliberate style choice then that's OK, or, of it is just script instructions then it may not matter anyway. A slightly smoother style would be: She drops him off, and he heads to the house.
- It feels slightly staccato.
- If this is a deliberate style choice then that's OK, or, of it is just script instructions then it may not matter anyway.
- A slightly smoother style would be: She drops him off, and he heads to the house.
- With an empty look she watches him go.
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It feels slightly staccato. If this is a deliberate style choice then that's OK, or, of it is just script instructions then it may not matter anyway. A slightly smoother style would be:
She drops him off, and he heads to the house. With an empty look she watches him go.
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