This sounds odd, but I just discovered that I might be suffering from an identity crisis... because I don't know what my first language is. I've been told to take a TOEFL test, even though I speak English as a first language (or so I think...). I'm a budding novelist of the English language as well. It strikes me odd - even insulting - to have to take a TOEFL test. I may not be White, but that doesn't give people the right to assume that 'I hava to talka in englisch lika dis' (no offense, that's just my frustration talking).
I was born in Singapore, but I was raised in Sydney. However, I currently do not possess an Australian citizenship (I've a lot of good reasons for that, but that's besides the point). My Singaporean parents taught me English and spoke in English (albeit not so good) since I was a toddler; nevertheless, I had been raised in an English speaking environment. I learnt Chinese shortly after 7 years old - attended classes in Mandarin Chinese for about 5 years. From time to time, I'd return to Singapore. I had even taken classes in Singapore for a few years too (but no, I can't speak Singlish to save my life).
To have to take a test in English as a FOREIGN language is really insulting. I don't think my Singaporean passport by birth says much about my English language ability. It's merely a piece of document; yet, I find it strange that it could dictate a huge part of my life, and especially, my identity. I can't speak Mandarin Chinese without stuttering or sounding like a fool; I can't read Mandarin Chinese well; I can't write well in Mandarin Chinese either. So, is Mandarin Chinese or Singlish (is that even a real language) my first language (even though I can't speak them well)? It's FASCINATING how a piece of document could undermine your language ability.
I'm writing a novel in English (I can't write in Singlish or Mandarin Chinese). I think in English. But what exactly is my native tongue? This question really does my head in! If anything, I'll take the iGCSE first language English (as a private candidate), just to prove a damn point!
Sorry about my rant!
