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Thientrang0110 Posted 5 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Nowadays, more and more young people play computer games. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Please correct my essay and give me the band score if possible. I am really appreciate that.

The number of youngsters who play computer games has been increasing in recent years. Although playing games on a computer has a negative influence on people’s health, it provides players with practical skills which are valuable in real life.

On the one hand, there are various drawbacks of playing computer games, one of which is that it has detrimental effects on young adults’ health. To be more specific, due to its few body movement requirements, and its attractive graphic design, most adolescents, who have not been able to control their time logically, get addicted to it, and have a tendency to sit in one place over a long period of time. As a result of this sedentary lifestyle, it is more likely for them to encounter serious health problems such as obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, depression, or even certain types of cancer. For example, a recent study in 2019 from Hanoi University of Medicine and Pharmacy on two thousand students aged from 6 to 20 revealed that among 10 children who are struggling with obesity, 6 of them were said to play games on a daily basis.

On the other hand, playing PC games equips young adults with a wide range of practical skills. In other words, these games require players with multi-tasking skills such as hand’s flexibility, quick observation, or making analysis and decisions, which are essential and beneficial for future employees in the workplace. For instance, before becoming a millionaire, Mark Zuckerberg used to be a student who was addicted to computer games. However, he stated that thanks to those skills he learned from playing games, he finally came up with an idea of creating Facebook, which is one of the most popular social network platforms these days.

In conclusion, while computer games have a bad effect on young people’s health, they allow youngsters to develop multitasking skills.

(311 words)

  

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Please include all the essay instructions, but do not put them in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Copy the instructions accurately and completely here. We cannot evaluate your task response without all the Task instructions.

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Nowadays more and more young people play computer games. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

My essay:

The number of youngsters who play computer games has been increasing in recent years. Although playing games on a computer has a negative influence on people’s health, it provides players with practica

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